Friday, February 20, 2009

Our Maid's story *ADDED INFO*

1.0 Introduction...

She is with us for exactly 60 days. She is 23 yrs old Cambodian girl. When she first arrived she always like to cry while holding her brother's picture and said that she miss him. Then she told me that she is in Malaysia to work and earn money for her brother to study. Now she said No need to send money back to cambodia and she want to use the money for herself to study. Different cerita :S


2.0 Started....
She took my new calendar without asking my permission on the first few days she was with us. When I asked her she said she wanted to "see" only. The calendar was in her room for many days. Then I told her have to ask permission if she want to "use" or "see" anything.

She then took my hub's new calendar diary and wrote in it. I thought my hub gave it to her. Bythe time i found out she took without permission it was very long after edi. So i just say "let it be. no next time"

Then I saw her nails, painted with clear nail polish. I didn't know if she came with it or she took mine. So I didn't make any noise.

She walked out from the toilet with just towel. My hub saw and he told me. Then I wanted to approach her when she was doing that but I always cannot "catch" her at that moment. (either I'm nursing or in the room or something) -that happened in old house.

I found her using her pinky and dip into Justin's water bottle to test temperature. I shouted EKKKKKKKK and she laughed and pour the water away and did it again! I said DIRTY!! don't ever do like that anymore. Now I still check on her whether she is doing that or not.

One day I found her EATING my 3in1 coffee. EAT, u read it right. She was chilling at the washing machine, standing with her legs crossed. One hand resting on the washing machine-leaned backwards and another hand was aboutr to pour the coffee into her mouth. Then she saw me standing there and she nearly choked. Then she keep saying "I no hand maam. I do like this (biting the coffee packet). I no hand. I do this (trying to tell me she was taking clothes out from washing machine and place into dryer. She thought I just saw her in fact I saw the entire thing. I asked her what she is doing and she keep repeating "I NO HANDS, I NO HANDS" trying to tell me that she doesn't available hands to hold the coffee while she "WAS WORKING" so she used her mouth to bite the coffee pack. She lied obviously about no hands to work and holding the coffee powder with her mouth. I told her "This coffee, is to mix with water and DRINK. Not to eat like this." And I immediately took out all the "cheaper" coffee packs and placed into a container and told her "This is for you. You can only drink coffee in this container".

10 mins later, i went down again. This time she was standing at the washing machine again. Flipping magazine. :S When she saw me she slowly turn....... and slowly put down the magazine..... and tried to reach for something to do. :S as if I cannot see if its in slow motion.

When we just moved in, I was busy taking care of the kids and I asked her to unpack. Then I "ninja-ed" down (walk like a ninja-without any sound) and found her squating down, reading magazine. Then she saw me and she quickly put down the magazine and pretend to work.

She also like to sit down and do nothing when I'm upstairs taking care of my kids or working. So I have to on-and-off ninja down to check what she is doing. Because of the swollen mouth and walking up and down the stairs, I lost weight. Managed to get back into my pre pregnancy jeans.

Once she was cleaning the room, she arranged the bed nicely and guess what? She even arranged Jayden's milk bottle nicely, hidden behind the pillow.

many times when she cleans the room, even if she see the diaper she will just totally ignore it. C'mon hard to ignore when its full with Shit right?




One day I saw her outside , about to start to bath my dogs. I went out with Justin and I saw a container with Washing Powder. I asked her "What are you using to bath cha cha?" She point at the washing powder. I asked her why ? "NO MORE SHAMPOO MAAM". Shit her la.. I went and took a new bottle of shampoo just next to the old one and gave her. Later that day I asked her whether she knows that the washing powder is very rough and can cause skin problem to the dog. She say YES. And I asked her if she runs out of shampoo herself, she will use the washing powder and bath? She say NO. :S

2.1 Starting to misbehave...

She took my mirror without asking me. That was when I had my swollen mouth.

She tried to watch tv when we left her at home. How we know? The tv was showing "starry" movie. She doesn't know how to operate astro- so simply press the tv remote control. That happened twice. And I didn't scold her -yet!
She tried to watch TV during her working hour (noon) even when she's supposed to be working. I was up in the room with the boys.
I asked her to come into my working room and gave her "verbal counseling" - telling her I know she took my mirror and also tried to watch tv. She cried say "sorry" and I asked her to return the mirror immediately and she just say "yes maam" and walked out of the room and avoided me for 2 days - never return my mirror.
2 days later I was in too much pain and wanted to look at my swollen mouth and I asked her to return my mirror NOW!!! and she gave it back to me showing the "black face"
I asked her to sit down and repeat what I have said to her (when I gave her the "verbal counseling" and she managed to repeat everything (means she understand what I've been babbling- her english not bad and she is not stupid-confirmed!). I asked her why she did not return the mirror she replied "I FORGOT".
She took my nail clipper again. I asked her why she said she found in the drawer inside Jayden's room (she sleep in Jayden's room because we have not cleaned her room before cny. We stuffed all the boxes inside). I said NO, gotto ask me first.

I went and bought a English-Khmer dictionary with Wen's help. (Thanks wen!) One day I heard Justin cried for very long time and I went down. She was sitting FAR AWAY from Justin, reading the dictionary letting Justin cry on the matress, on the floor. Jayden was running around asking me for "ribena". She did not give him water to drink for 2 hours after he woke up. I went down and she quickly hide the dictionary and crawled to Justin and pretend like she is playing with him. I asked her to come to the kitchen while I started to cook and I asked her what were you doing? Why Justin cry so long? Why Jayden don't have any water to drink? She keep quiet. And I replied for her. Because you're so busy reading the dictionary. You ask my permission to read? Are you very free? You cannot hear Justin crying? You cannot see Jayden don't have water to drink? You can read, IF you ask my permission to use the book and after you have finished your work. She just say YES MAAM.

One day, my hub opened the toilet door and saw her....trying to get up from sitting on the toilet seat. The toilet seat was down. She was sitting and chilling in the toilet. When my hub asked her "what are you doing?" she just walk out from the toilet and went to hide.

One day I found her using my dryer, she was trying to smuggle the dried clothes into her room to fold. I asked her why did she used the dryer when she was supposed to hang it under the sun. She answered "Because we go out. And you ask me to help your sister cook".

And then next day I saw my dictionary in her room again. And I brought the book and asked her "did you take my dictionary again without asking my permission?" She said YES. I flipped to the page with the word "PERMISSION" and asked her to read. Must ask permission, understand? YES MAAM she replied.

So since she said we brought her out and because of that she cannot finish her work. I asked her to stay at home one Saturday and gave her a list of things to do. Things which she was supposed to do but never. Like vacuuming and mopping my room or upstairs. She told me she mop the house twice a day. MY FOOT. She will only mop the top floor IF I asked her "Have you mop the floor?" And she will lie and say "YES ALREADY". And I will say "ARE YOU SURE?" then she will POOF!!!! go missing and fast fast clean the top floor. When we came back her hair was in a mess. Obviously just woke up from beauty sleep. And I checked, she did not vacuum the rooms.


2.2 Tested to the max
Then I found the dictionary again in her room. This time I really got so pissed off and waited till the kids is napping then I went into her room and "counsel" her using the dictionary. When I asked her why she never ask my permission she told me "I DUNNO ENGLISH". I said "What? you dunno english. Thern everyday what language you used to speak to me?" Then she kept quiet. Then I used the dictionary to point at every single word I said to her, making sure she fully understand what I say. Cannot understand English then read khmer. Then I asked her "You know that I will be angry if you take my things right?" She say "YES". Then I asked her " Then you purposely take to make me angry?" she replied.... YES!

Then I talk to her about her taking my nail polish: she admitted she used my nail polish
I talk to her about her not returning the mirror: She say she purposely didn't return it
Then I talk to her about her taking my hub's new diary calendar: >she admitted she took without asking.
Then I talk to her about not doing her things : She admitted.
I talk to her about her sleeping in the toilet : she admitted.
Many many things she admitted and she looked surprised that I know many things.

Then I asked her "After so many things you have done wrong. Do you have anything you want to say to me?" She say "NO. Nothing". I said you don't know how to say "Sorry?" And I flipped to the word sorry in the dictionary. And she read and she say "NO!" I said Cambodians don't say sorry wan izit? She replied YES.

Despite her irritating me like that, I maintained my coolness. I never shout at her. I continued to talk until she cried and finally said "I AM SORRY MAAM".

And she became good?

Wait.. cerita belum habis...

she avoided me for that day and the next day. The next day she just went off to sleep after dinner. Never help me with preparing the kids for bed. She just placed their pajamas and diapers on my bed. And that night I remember very well was Tuesday night. Because it was supposed to be our pasar malam night and Jayden was fussing at night and couldn't sleep because we didn't goto pasar malam. And Jayden fussed till 1.30 am and he started to cough. So Big C brought Jayden downstairs to feed him cough medicine and he came backinto our room and told me "She is using the air cond! How?" I said "Knock the door and ask her to come out NOW!" and he did and he can hear that she offed the main switch and then only open the door. Big C asked her "WHY YOU ON AIR COND AND SLEEP?" she replied " I NO ON AIR COND". Big C asked her "you come outside and feel this room , so hot. Your room so cold. And you say you never on air cond? You never on who on? On by itself ar?" She stratched her head. And he said "CANNOT ON" and she closed the door.

I asked my hub, you just let her go off just like that ?

he told me "yeah. can see her face so guilty. she don't dare to do it again". No need to nag her and keep teling her is wrong because she alreday know.

3.0 You all believe ah? You believe? I don't.

And you know what? Big C told me the way I counselled her is wrong. Say I should just "point the mistake, tell her don't do it anymore" and she will listen. You guys think so? Tell me. What I'm so angry about is she treated me like as if I'm stupid and she's so damn smart and worst my husband said that I'm wrong.

Now, I told Big C that I wanted to install cctv because I totally don't trust this woman or whatever you wanna call her anymore.Big C told me

1. No point install cctv. She will feel that she don't have freedom and she wont be motivated to work.
2. Don't scold too long. Just point out her mistake and ask her don't repeat it.
3. Don't check on her too much, give her opportunity to show us what she can do.
4. Just give her the task and let her handle the way she want to do it.

I said I'm worried that she might harm us by putting things in our food and Big C say "Nolah.........." and i told him about someone sent the tea to pathlab and tested there was period blood in the tea and he went like "Yakah?" You see? He never hear all these stories before so he doesn't understand how I feel.

I said she didn't eat the fish I left for her. Maybe she did something to the fish. He said NO LA...

I said She doesn't drink the soup and he said "We also don't drink soup la". What????? Just because of her we don't drink soup?

And I mention that she can put liquid detergent in our kid's milk nd he say NOLAAAAAA got bubbles wan mah. I think he dunno, now washing powder got low sud, bleach got no bubbles. Everyday put lil bit by the time you realize she was poisoning your kid, maybe its too late. I'm not taking the risk. My kids we're talking about here.

And because of that woman, we argued. We argued many times. When I said "Okay, I let you deal with her. I'm not going to scold her anymore" . He told me " I have enough problem at work edi". Then how?????? Scold, I am wrong wor. Don't scold, let him scold he said he also got problem. How? You tell me?

So please..... please share with HIM about your experiences with your beloved maid, especially cambodian maids.

Also I would like to know:

1. have you ever send your maid for "COUNSELING".
2. Did they change after the counseling session.
3. Do you know what the agency did to the maid during counseling session.(eg scold, whack, etc)

I told Big C that once I send her out for counselling, I don't want her anymore. She will come back and harm my kids. And expected answer from him "NOLAAAHHHHHHHHHHH Won't wan la" Arghhh!!! *Pull Hair*

You see why I'm not free to blog? Got maid also no time. No maid also no time. What is happening wei?????!!!!!

48 comments:

  1. aiyo.....really headache. she is such a liar. why does she need your mirror? ask her to get one for herself next time. i think you have more stress after having her around eh? got to keep checking and supervising her *sigh* poor you. hopefully she would buckle up soon.

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  2. Another sad & angry story abt maid .. :(

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  3. All maids are stubborn one...got them problem, not have them problem also...

    Wish you good luck, hope she can really change after u nag for n-times and counseling.

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  4. I dont have a maid but I see my SIL and neighbours who have ample experience. To minimise "danger" just nicely correct her if you intend to keep her. And give her a piece of your mind in TOTALITY just 10 mins before you pack her off without any warning. Simple. Just 2 choices, keep or send back. Anything else does not work after what you have gone through.

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  5. oh no....i sure lost my patient...

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  6. Me hoh? Very bad wan. I will send the lousy maid straight back to the agent and let them pukul keh, marah keh, cakap keh I don't care la.
    But luckily, my ex maid was OK, and now I have no maid. Hahahaha!!!!

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  7. with my maid, most of the time i close one eye coz i hv kids. in the beginning she is ok, now she started dreaming d coz she's going home soon and i started scolding her often so, i dun let her make milk for my kids or feed them.

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  8. emm..argue with hubby about maids... not worth spoiling your relationship over a stranger.

    I had an agreement with my hubby that she is under me and I would be the one in charge of everything in the household. He will give me advise but the final decision is up to me. He won't say much, pinpoint anything (he is too nice or most men are like that) but we did mention he will COME OUT and INTERFERE if I fail to control her. So far so good that my maid is performing.

    My suggestion to shut your hubby's mouth is to DO WHAT HE SUGGESTED (I mean the part he said the way you scold her wrongly). Just tell her what is not allowed to do and avoid "explaining". Save your energy and straight to the point. If it did not work, then u can tell ur hubby that..SEE..it DID NOT Work. But if it works...good for you. Give your hubby a benefit of doubt coz you have no choice... (after so many counseliing still make such mistakes)..unless ur are willing to let her go.

    Cool...cool..always remember.. don't ever let her know that you argue with your hubby about her. She will climb over your head if she knows ur hubby is siding her.

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  9. Karen5:54 PM

    Why don't you threaten her that you'll report to her agency and have her send back for her bad behavior. Do not risk your kids having her around.. she's young, I don't think she is bothered about having this job.. I think you better off send her back...

    On the other hand...

    This is the problem... you get cheap maids, you expect them to become the 100%. She wants nail polish, mirror, I think every single woman at her age would want that too, its just unfortunate she can't afford it. She is not trained to babysit babies... If you are desperate for a maid and can't wait for another, make her as your friend instead of enemy. Tell her that if she does this, you'll buy her this (cheap nail polish or whatever unwanted nail polish you have, lipstick).. if she finish all the housework you will give her 30mins recess time to read magazine whatever...

    Good luck Sasha..

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  10. ai yo...hopefully things will improve for you. I agree with you - I won't want her back if she is sent to the agent for counselling. good luck yea.....I had nightmare with my 1st maid - that's why now i chose an older one.....but i think it's all luck.

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  11. Though I don't have a maid before but I have lived with a few and they have given me a lot of 'experience'. In the past there were not many Cambodian maids in Singapore, only Indon and Filipina.

    I caught one red handed on the bed naked with a man and she still dare to jerk at me so we sent her back.

    Another time we caught one who do 'extra biz' which we do not know if it in the house or outside so we sent that back too. These two were the worst we ever had. The other few were just those plain lazy and 'chor lor' broken all the cooking utensils and etc...

    According to my aunt, one of her friend's maid let their son lick her pussy when both parents were out at work. Disgusting rite?

    There were cases of maids putting rat poison in food as well as clorox etc into food...

    It is always a headache when we have some strangers living with us and we can't do much except reprimanding them.

    Sometime I felt having a maid leave more work for us than saving us from work!

    Tell your Big C that maids now is no longer country bumpkins even they looked and act like one!

    Anyway, all the best to you! Don't go wacko for someone you paid a few hundred for a month... not worth.

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  12. Anonymous6:19 PM

    I think sometimes Cambodian maid is a bit problematic. My sis had indon maid for years with no problem. Then she got this new Cambo maid. (BTW, she just sent back to agent and wasted 4K) because counsel also no use.

    Everytime the maid will pretend like blur blur like that everything also don't understand but she would do very crazy things like go to her teenage dotter's room and hug her pillow and sleep when she is supposed to be working or stand there and watch them eat instead of doing work. She tells everyone that she is married with two kids but she tells my sis that she is not married.

    When confronted, she would just smile and say "Sorry ma'am" (Say sorry also no use one becos she will repeat it). My sister sent her back to agent for counselling a few times but no use also. Each time after counselling, when my sis when to pick her, she looks very happy chit chatting with other Cambo maids!

    I think when the attitude is wrong, no matter how you try to talk to them, they will still repeat it. Whether you use soft manner, or harsh manner, they WILL repeat it so it is better to be careful about your food and drinks.

    Funny, about what your hubby says. Aiyah.. I've already got so much problem at work, you give me more problems. That sounds really familiar! Sometimes, I think thats the men's way of saying "You deal with it lah!" but if he thinks you should deal with it, then he should trust you to deal with it in YOUR way. Hehe.

    I find these kinds of maids can't be left on their own to "feel more confident" about doing things and be more motivated. They need to be given step by step instructions like "Can you go and mop the floor now? and when the floor is done you tell them "Can you go and do this and this now? If you leave them to do work on their "own initiative", nothing will get done.

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  13. alamak..which part if added info??? ur story very long..n to re-read??? ahahahha

    anyway i hv a friend, cambodian businessman. if he comes to KL for biz again, u want him to have a nice chat with ur maid? sometimes i dont reckon sending them back to agent for counseling because agent will just scold them and make things difficult.

    for me, i take it as a learning process. our expectation is set at this, but their expectation is set lower... mine is myanmar... i live through it....n without dictionary.

    take care.. *hugs*

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  14. Finally u poured it all out here. I was like you too, when my first maid arrives. At least yours will admit things she did. Mine, die-die also wont admit her mistake one. initially i was mad like crazy when i come across things you are facing. But realise it no point. Now when I found her not doing things, I will ask her to do again, and again as I m not willing to hear another word of lie from her mouth anymore. I know it will be a lie for sure anyway, and no point asking. Sometimes when I am really mad at her for lying, I just denda her like little children (just like what I told you in chat). People like them will not feel remorse no matter how much u make her see that she is wrong. But one thing they do they feel embarrassing if people see them kena denda(I learn this from the agent)

    It takes some time, really to train a maid, whom I shall say is "smart" but pretend to be stupid so she escape from all the nonsense she did.

    After 6 months, now my maid has great bond with my children. With that I tell myself, not to be so picky on her. As long job is done (not so clean) also nvm. She curi nap (while kids nap) also I keep quiet. sigh.....be strong, I will stand by you.

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  15. Looks like you hire a maid to give yourself more problem.

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  16. oh dear... I thought once got maid then you can spend more time with your kids... lagi pening now eh? it's not healthy to fight with hubby re maid woh... but then again, hubby think it's easy to deal with someone like that huh? sigh

    am not sure what to say but do hope she will "sang sang sing sing" lah...

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  17. The CCTV wud be a good idea. At least can give u some peace of mind. She doesn't hv to know wat those things are mah.
    Hmm... hubbys r all like that hor. Vy generous n kind. Sometimes mine oso say I'm too calculative but he doesn't u/std that they tend to climb over our heads if we're too cincai.
    Really not worth arguing with hubs abt the maid. After some great suggestions here, I hope u'll get +ve results from her. Good luck!
    If all else fails, can get a replacement?

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  18. wow very the long post....

    no point argue with hubs bout maid...later she thinks ur hubs side her, she lagi tak chek...

    seems like her attitude lagi teruk than mine...sigh...just gotta keep repeat and scold, remind..also what i do now, after i finish talking, ask her repeat..then u can make sure she understand. and also give her time. say 30mins..finish this work..if no, bla bla bla...they are in leisure mode when they first join, so gotta move them into fast mode...

    mine is over this phase, but sometimes she will go into this phase (Hard reset LOL). And each time hard reset, as usual..I also hard reset and scold her and drill and drill again. Tell my story next round LOL

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  19. Wah! So so long post!

    *sigh* i don't know what to said, because i also got one at home still always drive me up the wall!!! What i do is, everyday i will nag her on what to do for the day before i go to work, since she like me to nag, without nag she won't do,or she will do it for a week then back to her normal self again. Haih haih haih! Maid never ending story.

    Good luck and don't angry so much like me ya :)

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  20. read already I can vomit blood also.

    I now have two maids, which I have to keep an watchful eye on the new one. My MIL said she's cruel. I am glad I have the CCTV at home, at least I can monitor them when I am upstairs with the kids.

    Go install CCTV. And as for your lou kong, I think he trust the maid too much la. Tell him, don't let the maid climb up his head.

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  21. Anonymous1:26 AM

    Seems like a maid is more trouble than its worth. You're paying someone money for additional stress. Can you return her for another? Good luck.

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  22. i read this statement before somewhere in this blogosphere:
    Maids, you can't live with them. You can't live without them.

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  23. Anonymous4:30 AM

    all i want to say is....ur husband! so typical of man to take things for granted!

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  24. I think you have been more than patient with your helper. In many cases, they usually behave and only started acting funny when they know they have gained the trust from their employers. In your helper's case, she sure is 'tham sung mo'.

    While it is true some may work well under minimum supervision, sad to say most doesn't. The checklist you have is a good start. If she still fail to finish her task at the end of the day, tell her you will deduct her salary.

    I am glad I am blessed with quite a good helper. She started off quite blur but after settling down, I have no complains most of the time.

    You should see how she behaves with the kids. Is she patient, is she ignorant type etc etc... cos importantly she is the type that will not harm kids, not to mention detes on them is crucial. Whether or not she can clean, cook, etc.. that can still be trained.

    when all failed, really.. to save you from the headache, stress, worries, paranoia, send her back. Can you ask for a swap?

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  25. @@'' sounds like my maid....
    she only want to eat, sleep, watch, jalan jalan, buy, and lie...

    when ask her to work.. she will say nanti...

    she only do work for me and my elder brother... other than that she wont do...

    when brin her to my SIL house... she refuse to do work.. ask her to change tilam... she stand there n cry, or go out to the garden to read comic....

    later bring her back to my parents house.... show off to my other maids that we so sayang her....

    when come v thin... go back like so fat.. cause everyday eat n sleep...

    lagi teruk... i watching tv...then i go take my water.. she pandai pandai come n switch the channel @@"' woah teruknya...

    asked agent to come... give her couseling. talk talk talk... then she laugh promise wont do again.. next day buat perangai again..

    always find fault w my other maids..

    after one year... say wanna go back to indon... so ... go back lo...

    there was once my another maids got whack by the agent (i think) cause refused to work...

    another 2 maids.. runaway from home... and come back to steal things... @@''

    but other than that... my maids r good.. just only 3-4 that causes problem...

    oh got one also like to squat in the toilet LOL... then during new year we needed extra help.. so happen the agent bring her back for part time... then only know she have lots of bfs @@"'

    for ur maid ... if she really needs the money... threaten her u gonna send her back to cambodia... or better change a new maid

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  26. Anonymous3:30 PM

    hey..im guessing she already put something for ur hubby to always say "nolah"

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  27. I also have a Cambo maid. Contrary to what most beleive, they r just as cunning.
    Actually, Big C just want to avoid confrontation with the maid and create more issues in the house (in addition to the workload he already has)
    I think you should install cctv and watch her periodically when you are doing your work upstairs. Let her know you can view her remotely but tell her the reason was for the security of the house at night or when u r not home. That way she won't feel the cctv's intention is to nab her unaware.
    I sent mine for counselling but I felt it did not help. She came back smiling as if she had 2 days off at the agency. Attitude improved but after few days, same shit surface again.
    I was nice to her in the beginning, sharing utensils, food etc, after counselling, i went reverse gear,, making it clear what's hers is hers and what's mine is mine, food, utensils etc.
    I gv her a radio and caught her listening to my Beautiful Love Songs cd. Really taroh her betul betul and not to touch or use my things in the future. When I taroh, I use my 'husband' to scare her.. Sir, very angry with you, I said.
    If u think she is 'no cure', ask for a change.
    If you think they will improve in time, no way, they usually show best behaviour when arrive and deteriotate along the way.
    Make it clear your kids cleanliness is your priority, if needed find some article abt maids being charged for mistreating kids and show it to her. I did that, when scaring her with the 'Sir Very Angry' tactic didn't work, I used .. 'Anything Happens, I Send You To The POLICE, not Agency' ! That should scare her till pants drop.
    Take it step by step when reprimanding maid. Must use correct tactic , they are so stubborn and mindless, we don't know what works and what doesn't.
    Meantime, don't ever let your maid know you argue with Big C over her, once my maid was watching my hubs reprimand me over something, she just stood there watching with 2 big eyes, I told her to GO TO BED!
    Also, make it rule that she has to tell you whenever she goes to bed. If she doesn't, knock on her door to remind her why she never say good night to you.. I did that for months !!!!!!
    Oh yes, chilling in the toilet is a norm, it's just their attitude to 'curi ayam'

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  28. sasha darl, i so kesian reading your story. sigh. we've had our share of TERIBLE maid troubles too. our current one is good but she's leaving in 2 weeks time and now i'm already stressed out thinking abt the new one coming. sigh.

    anyway.. we sent back our first maid back in 2007 because that woman was terrible. such terrible hygiene and told lies to us, caused us to fight alot. so.. yeah, i can imagine what ure going through.

    the unfortunate truth is that when a maid is that lousy, u're better off sending her back. even if it's going to cost you some more money.

    we sent the first maid back after 40 days, and it was the best decision we made. like u, i tried to "counsel" the maid many many times, but no effect. so we let her go. good riddance to bad rubbish.

    we got a replacement the same day from the same agent, and that second maid is the maid that is still with us until today. now she's going back because she's got small kids of her own.

    when u have someone u can't trust living under your roof... that's no way to live your life.

    i pray whatever decision u make, it'll be the right one for u and your family. good luck sasha..

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  29. Last time I used to have an Indon maid, quite a big size, the first few months she was ok, showing her passionate to my son, but somehow after one year, she started to show off her color and yes, after one year she ran away..

    and one thing i regretted most

    Im too kind to her.. Gave her mobile phone, if she didnt wash our clothes, pun i tak marah. nak mop lantai it took her ages to do it, and i never scolded her.. and even worst, i know she took mymoney yet I dint scold her..

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  30. maids are smart,they are like us.just that they act stupid and naive so ke lian (in mandarin).beware not to lost your cool if you need her to cook and take care your kids.

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  31. sigh, sigh, sigh. all the best woman. dammit. ada maid susah, no maid also susah. wtf!!!!

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  32. whoisbaby6:26 AM

    kesian you. thought with the help of a maid will lessen your stress, but seems like you got more stress with one. see if BIG C's way is going to work. Good luck.

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  33. Holy Shit .... I think you should send her away and get another new maid it seem she will not change. so lazy and still so stubborn. never trust a maid unless you really know her . gosh I am so worry for you la ... especially walk around with bath towel wooooow .. only 23 years .. I hear lot of story there try on ...
    I think the BEST way to deal with her is send her OUT OF YOUR HOWM SWEET HOME if you can't get any meaid get a weekly maid who can clear the home well better than some like this you worry she will poison you or you kids . send send send away fast fast fast ..... :)
    do take care yourself OK MISS you sorry havn't got lot of time on the net lately becos back to work .. really got time to die no time to sick wor .

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  34. wow this is the second time i heard about this kind of maid...

    It really make me think twice not to have maid... my wife also rather not have maid

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  35. my best mate use to have a Cambodian maid for 2 yrs, always heard she complains abt the maid coz her maid cant speak English well & they have communication prob apparently. but then the maid is rajin enough since frm kampung, she can do rough house chores but not to sayang ur expensive belongings.

    according to my friend, whenever a maid being sent back for counseling, the agent will definitely beat/whack them!!! agent will threaten & warn them but will still send back the SAME maid to you.

    So, you have to take the risk whether the maid will revenge after the 'counseling' on ur family or not. In order to think of the bright side, perhaps your maid will get the lesson & behave or less daring after that? But again, those 'people' are the stubborn one & we couldn't really expect much improvement frm them. I mean, will beat or threaten change someone's attitude? I think it's hard.

    Well, about maid.. maybe we shouldn't involve the man? hahahha, guess they will never see the points we have and man always under estimate woman (esp a crazy one). ;)

    More over, dont get too many ppl to control the maid else she will find the loop hole and do something funny ended up ruin the relationship bet u & Big C which i think it not advisable. Only 1 can get involve with the maid which is YOU ideally.

    Follow your instinct and do all you want at the moment loh.. cause we born to protect our family ma.. hahaha.. what to do?? Man is just not good in controlling maid to be frank.

    I have heard a lot of these frm all my friends until I dare not even try my luck to hire one..

    Good luck & all the best!!

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  36. No time to read other people's comment. Relating thru my past experience. I'll skip that bodoh maid's part and come to the part of my relationship with my hubby. My hubby is just like yours thinking we are always in the wrong. Finally after only 9 months i ask her to pack and go cos with her around, hubby and me quarrel more just because of her. Why spend money yet husband & wife quarrel? That afternoon she is gone, I have never felt so happy before (even tho I have to do housework). You know, all the marah-marah can make me heart attack, man!

    Counselling? I don't believe it will do any magic. How to teach old dog to be obedient?

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  37. jacss2:22 PM

    wooow, can't believe d episode u had gone thru...i too felt that u have been too kind to her. i think if me, i would hv lose my cool & 'fight' with her...hahaha
    bf my current maid, i got a camb maid too...my agent told me that camb maid memang is more stubborn as compared to indon. tght wif language prbm, car-sick, we hv no choice but to replace her...thk god d indon that we ultimately decided on is so far so good, i'm counting my blessing!!

    woman, it's really not worth quarreling wif huby bcoz of ppl of such shallow mind.

    i think u had given yrself more than sufficient chances to prove that she is just not the right one...so it's either:
    1) install cctv to check on her real act behind you & prove that she can't be kept or
    2) send her back for a replacemt

    never trust her with anythg that goes into the stomachs esp. the kids!!!

    with yr circumstnc (work fr home), i think an older helper is more suitable lar...

    good luck...now u made us worry, so u gotta update us what's yr decision & progress, k...

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  38. Oh dear, you just made me feel very glad tat i never hire a permanent maid.

    I like what angeleyes said, it is not worth giving yourself so much stress just for a couple hundred RM a month.

    Can u send her back? Get a replacement?

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  39. I feel your pain, I've got an indon who used my tweezers ... how gross is that.

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  40. When I was still staying at home, my parents used to quarrel quite a lot just because of our maid! Incredible huh? Simply because, MAN is always too kind hearted, and thought that we are the being 'cunning' with the maid :) Consider hiring a part time cleaner, costs less chaos and your energy!

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  41. how come your maid cerita so same with mine, annie, and a few others...?? Weyo?? BCOS they are all from the same freaking nation!!

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  42. Enough of examples and my advice is send her away! She is not the maid type. No point sending her back to agent for counselling then take back, you will have more nightmares!

    She is just 60days with you, you are allowed to return her within 6months dont you?

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  43. omggg i'm so sorry for not reading this post first

    cant u change maid!??! she's terrible! bloody stupid! n wut do guys know!? she's probably all nice and an angel infront of him!

    seriously la..u told her once..twice..3 times..but she still repeats it! there's no use!! y cause more grief to urself?? might as well u do all the work riteE? she's just giving more work for u

    kesian je..i agree with cctv...then record down all the crap things she does n SHOW ur hubby..n the stupid agency!

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  44. amazing. maid topic can fetch 43 comment. mt 2 cents.... maid when u first sense doing wrong thing, send back to agent . dont wait till 2-3 months. my maids quite standard (each one). i sen back 7 days. good agent really come ur house and kick and slap the maid infront of you. either putting a show or really that ganas. i am ok. atleast thats called service..

    maid abuse your kindness, so dont be fooled by their pathetic look and excuses.

    dont like them? kick em away. full stop

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  45. wah...ur maid really terrible!!! after reading ur maid story, i am begining to appreciate my maid more coz she is very "seng mok" (well, a little too "seng mok" at times). anyway, she is leaving in 2 mths time...n we are worried abt the new maid...if we ever find one!!

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  46. have you told her that you can send her back where she came from? (or can you?) my sister has CCTV all over the house, her maid was very young, about 17 when she came. now she's been with my sis for over 3 years i think. also made my sister mad, similar case to yours, but not as 'tai tam'. she knows the CCTV is there, and can be played back anytime. my sister said, as long as she finishes her work, she can watch the tv after 7pm. that's her rewards.

    good luck with yours :)

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  47. Wah! The longest maid story
    i ever know... iy's true when u got maid u still need to spend time "tak care" of her... Anyway... congrate in coming WAHM! ( my antenna abit slow as i seldom online :P )

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  48. Walau..your maid really a headache..if me send them back..no need banyak cakap..cry or dont cry, her busines..

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