Wednesday, November 12, 2008

This Year..

my only wish is for my boys to get well soon.

If I Have another wish, i wish I can rest and have a good sleep. Just one will make me very happy cos Jayden's been up since 2am.He just slept. Imagine, I only got 2 hours to close my eyes and that's it. When he's about to sleep, Justin woke up. The entire family cried and screamed in the middle of the night. Ppl must b thinking we're having an early celebration or its time to be nuts again.

Everyday I'm asking myself what else can i do?
Speak softly, cannot.
Scream cannot.
Whack cannot.
I'm like at the dead end.

Jayden is Forever puling my hand.
Must sit next to him when he watch tv. The hand must be around him.
Sekejap want thomas.
sekejap want word world.
Then ask for apple. When you peel the skin of the apple, he purpose stand ontop of your feet. Step Step Step on my feet.
I hate it.
I really hate it.
I FXXKING HATE IT!!!!! ARGHH!!!
And he refused to listen when I ask him not to do it.
Just by saying No, he's already screaming like I'm about to slaughter him.
He lost so much weight.
When he cries I only see one Big mouth.
I pity him.
I don't know what else I can do.
I shouted at him every single day. I even shouted those things which I'm not supposed to say. But I cannot help it.
When I'm nursing Justin, he wants a piggy back ride. My right shoulder hurts so much. Justin also refused to be carried other way except when I use my right hand. So basically my right hand is cacated now. So sore. So damn sore.
Justin is coughing very badly and there's nuthing I can do except to pat his back. He refused to lie down and let me pat his back when he's up.

Anyway, save my rant for another day. I sibeh tired. My eyes very the tired cos I have been crying since 2 am until now. My throat hurts. My shoulder is sore. My right hand cacated. I just hope that today will pass by very peacefully for me.At least just let me enjoy a little bit.

Dear god, if you are listening, please let me rest abit. Afterall...It's my birthday ma...ok? Thank you very much.

58 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday Dear...
    Yes, tonight will be special for you and you will get your wish come true :)

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  2. again, happi birthday, definitely your wish will come true. i thought u getting a maid? not here yet??

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  3. Happy Birthday ....to u girl... u must look really chan.. hang on there.. I also duno what to advice u... me myself also not happy .. duno why ... just feel very down ...:(

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  4. Happy Birthday dear. No worry, GOD hear you and your dream will come true.

    I guess could be Jayden is not feeling well and he wants your attention, that's why he is doing all sorts of things just to get you attend to him.

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  5. Happy Birthday to u! Don't think too much ya. When they're all better, u'll look back to today n laugh abt it. So y not laugh abt it now. Cheer up, girl! And go step on someone else's feet. :)

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  6. Annie4:27 PM

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...

    May you be well & happy!
    There will be surprise for you...

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  7. Happy Birthday Sasha!

    Hang on there okay..it's your birthday so dont be so sad.. Cheer up.. God will always listen to a mother who sacrifice for the family right?

    Although it's quite lame, but still want to wish may all you dreams come true. :)

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  8. Happy birthday!!!
    May your wish come true and all the sad things will over very soon.
    ((HUG))

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  9. happy birthday...

    oooh, that what we called life?? :-S

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  10. Happy Birthday and may all your written and unwritten dreams come true today!

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  11. Happy birthday dear.
    Be strong. The miserable times will pass and your wish will come true.

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  12. lemonjude5:26 PM

    Happy Birthday to you first. I really hope that what the simple you wished for today at least will come true...Come just think about birthday ppl will have double luck.

    May miracle happen. Take care...

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  13. I really pray that your wish will come true Birthday Girl.

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  14. Happy Birthday dear

    hope ur boys get well soon, be good boys to mummy.

    hang in there :(

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  15. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU DEAR
    may god bless 2 kids will be good for you and you can have a good rest !
    xxxxx hugs hugs

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  16. Happy Birthday to you. Your wishes will come true. They will both recover soon and by as chirpy as ever.

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  17. happy birthday sasha!
    ya i can c how u feel... i have maid to help out but still dun have enuff sleep n so stress out... thank God now dat my girl grow older life is easier for me.. u hang in there for a little while im sure u will get back urself very soon

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  18. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SASHA!!!

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  19. beckysmum8:49 PM

    Happy birthday Sasha! I hope u have a good rest. I know how you feel. I am at the same shoe as you. Hang in there, it will be over, one day... I am waiting for the day too... Keeping you in my prayer...

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  20. adrian10:01 PM

    Happy Birthday Sasha.

    Ur boy is still young. He will calm down when he gets older.

    Having said that, sometimes when he oversteps his boundary with you, you need to pull him into the toilet and lock him there. :P Tell him he'll only come out when he behaves. Show no pity.

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  21. Sasha,
    I know it's tough to handle two kids at a time. But, hang on there... There's one saying and I'm sure you know, "Bersusah-susah dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian". Now it might be the most difficult time you have encountered. But think about it, 20 years later or 25 years later, when both your kids are old enough to work, to take care of themselves, you'll be the one to shake legs and enjoy...

    Believe me, everyone goes through the same phase. I bet my mum too gone through the same thing. Same goes to your mum. I even remember how my mum was so tired handling a lot of things and broke down several times. However, look at her now? She's waiting for me to give her pocket money, waiting for me to bring her to some restaurants to makan.:D

    I do hope you'll be tough to handle all these. If you feel you need someone to talk to, Mott is in Skype, I'm in MSN, both of us are on mobile phones and everyone else here is in blog! *Big huggies*

    Anyway, today is your big day. Wish you a very happy birthday and I think, God will grant you your wish. :)

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  22. Happy Birthday!! It is hard to handle them at this age but time will fly. It will be easier when they grow older. Hang in there!

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  23. Happy Birthday Sasha! Hope that everyone at home get well soon! Big hugs to you, Jayden and Justin. Things do get better, till now, just take good care of yourself..

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  24. Happy birthday to you Sasha..

    Do you want to consider getting a part time helper to relieve you temporary until you are recover??

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  25. Happy Birthday to you :) everything will be alright soon.

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  26. Life is like that for many moms out there. Just hang on, kids grow up day by day and each day will be different then. Take care. Happy birthday to you, even if you are not happy, just stay happy lah ... what to do...

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  27. Big hugs Sasha. We all went through ups and downs in the journey of motherhood. It's really not easy. and I can see it must be a very difficult time for you now but hang in there dear. So sorry to hear you're going thru such a tough time, it's not easy the kids doesnt want anyone else but mommy. Sigh... I also donno if I can cope if I have another one :(

    Oh.. Happy Belated Birthday. My wish is for you to have your wishes fulfiled (at least half of them). K? :D

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  28. happy belated birthday.

    this is just part and parcel of life. grow up, learn and you will be a better person :).

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  29. Happy Birthday!!! *hugs*

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  30. happy belated birthday.

    ok, its like that one, jayden wants attention fr u. when my girl was born, my boy cried and lau gai for 3 mths everyday! i was really angry and frus during my confinement period and i scolded him and caned him a lot. that was my only regret for treating my son that way. try to be more patient and let him know that u still love love him very much. later one, it will be much better. hope ur maid comes sooner so u can hv a rest. it is very NORMAL for jayden to behave like that and i totally understand how u feel now. it was my worst nightmare and again, give jayden more attention and pass bb to hubby if possible. besides jayden is not feeling well. lagi want ur attention! its only temp. u can do it. come one! where is the 'strong' sasha!!! go girl! i know u can!!!!

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  31. ooo happy belated birthday!
    ai yo....sounds all too familiar. Hope your helper comes in soon to help out. It's not easy taking care of a tod and a newborn.

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  32. U know what? I have a feeling that my Raelynne is acting up almost like your Jayden because there's a no. 2 around. I think seeking more attention scared we give all attention to no. 2. Dunno lah, but just my feeling. Becos she was never like this before no. 2 came.

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  33. Happy Belated Birthday, Sasha..
    hope that your breast milk can help stopping his cough. And, may your wishes come true.

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  34. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SASHA!!

    i'll help pray to god and ask him to let u have a good rest!!

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  35. Happy birthday dear Sasha!

    Consider a short get away. 1 day or half a day will do. Get yourself a little space, a little quiet time. It will do good for you, and Js.

    Be strong and stay strong. When you look back, everything is worth it!

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  36. Happy belated. Hang in there, yeah? Take care! *hugs*

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  37. oppps your birthday eh? sorry lambat a bit! Happy belated Birthday! *hugs*

    am so sorry to hear all the things you are going thru... It's not easy being a mum.. we all can understand that.. some of us been thru it and some of us going thru it.. please hang on... love love..

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  38. Happy Birthday Sasha!
    Mayb they were not feeling well that's why they need your attention

    Yes GOD is listening..Wish your dreams come true..(Hugz)

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  39. Happy Birthday. No, worries. This time next year, you'll be yourself again, then you'll look back at this post and laugh. :)

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  40. happy belated birthday sasha dear. i hope you'll get what you wish for real soon. Amen..

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  41. Happy Belated Birthday to You. I pray for your wish come true.

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  42. Happy Birthday ah babe. Hope you're feeling better now. Having two kids is really that tough meh? Now I scare scare d leh.

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  43. Happy Belated Birthday, Sasha!!!

    HOpefully everything will be just fine. Guess very soon it's my turn to experience the same too.

    Let's work it out!!

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  44. wow, ur situation makes mine seems like nothing although i'm dying for a good nite's rest too!

    i guess it's harder that jayden is sick and thus, wants your attention too. i know wht it's like when no. 1 needs ur attention at the same time as no. 2. been getting alot of that lately but lucky for me, my no. 1 more or less easy to reason with and when she cannot, i jst let her be and she will cry silently.

    hang in there sasha as much as your sanity can take it, like most comments have said, this is just a phase. short term only. u will look back and laugh at this post one day and ask yourself how did u ever manage!

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  45. oh you poor dear. I know how hard it must have been, when both kids needs your attention at the same time. Nursing takes a lot of energy and effort. It is admirable that you are actually keeping it up. Just hang in there ok? I have been there, mastitis, sleep starved, bone tired and all. Trust me, things will get better. You just take care ok? hugs to you !

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  46. happy belated birthday to you. hang in there. err..maybe better u take some rest lor...a 5 minute power nap does wonders. probably go slow on the blogging ? :D

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  47. jacss9:06 AM

    got to print my b'day wish here again la....yeah, i also hope i can share bit of my 'rest' for you!!
    what a hard time it is now for you....and all i can wish is for it to get over asap!!
    think jayden is still adjusting wif "sibling rivaly" syndrome la....
    give him some more time la, he loves u mama!!
    hope u had yr sleep & r no more 'sibeh' tired, LOL LOL

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  48. Sasha,

    Happy Birthday ..

    I gone through the same situation even now .. i broke down and cry and cry and cry ..

    I guess is ok for us to broke down and cry, is some kind of way for us to relieve our stress ..

    Hang in there .. and think the possitive way .. they are you little sunshine !!

    Happy Birthday again ..

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  49. whoisbaby1:09 AM

    happy belated birthday.

    sorry to hear all the things you are going through now. but just hang in there and rant all you want in the blog ... a way to get them out. cry cry cry ... is ok ... get it out. after crying it should feel much better.

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  50. Happy Belated Birthday Sasha!!! Don't worry too much...maybe, Jayden is just having terrible 2.....same goes for my kids - till today, I still scream, scolding them, not easy, but, trust me, everything will be alright soon, just be relax ok...maybe, go for some spa to relieve your stress??

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  51. happy belated birthday. should hire a maid then...

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  52. Happy belated birthday!! maid is coming very soon......

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  53. Happy birthday. aiyoh. so kesian. Give sasha a big big hug. Feel happy soon. even for a brief moment, u need to laugh, laugh out loud.

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  54. Blessed Birthday to you n may all your wish come true...

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  55. Happy Birthday ...

    Well i am experiencing that. My son just cannot stop one .. cannot sit quietly ... want you to dance when his Mickey Mouse song is on - sit down oso cannot.

    Everyday he sure kena whackd one. Now his frenzy is poking his nose with his blankie. Whack! then he says Who Beat Me? Kids ...

    Anyway, i sure hope the kids have recovered by now.

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  56. Sabrina5:09 PM

    Happy Birthday. Soli belated one. Well, you just have to be patient lot. I am going thru that stage with my son too.

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