Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Point Point Finger...

Over the weekend I was at my aunts' place. Another uncle of mine told us that his son got an E for his Mandarin. He kept making fun of my cousin - E is for Enough. And he kept attacking the son "You think you're car izit? E is enough and F is Full"? The poor boy just put his head down. "Tomorrow when I go and see your teacher then you will know what is ENOUGH.

It was his first time taking mandarin exam and mandarin wasn't his core language. Besides speaking mandarin in mandarin class, no one teaches him or speak to him.

I asked my uncle "Who won't get red marks when they reach secondary sch? You never get red marks before meh? And also who teach him mandarin?"

The father kept quiet.

I added "Come to think of it, scoring all As doesn't mean you're smart. You're good in memorising the answers to the question. The most important thing is understanding what you learn. Do you want him to be book smart or street smart?"

He kept quiet.

Not enough I added somemore salt to the wound "Some of my straight A friends cannot find job. Why? cos they don't know how to answer in an interview. Not being taught in sch before and it's not written in the text book. So they are like dunggu".

And the wife agreed "yeah yeah some ppl came for interview don't even know how to fill in the forms". The wife is a principle in an intl kindy :D.

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What I am pissed of was, the father only know how to scold and point finger at the kid(s) for doing badly in the exam. But he never ask himself "Why did he score badly in the exam? Did he get enough guidance? What did I do as a father to help my own son?" Worst come to worst blame it on the mother for the son's bad results. That's what we human always do. Point one finger at another person and totally forgot that there's at least another 3 fingers pointing back to our self. It's always why YOU never do this and why YOU never do that. What about yourself?

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Just like our kids being naughty. Normally, parents will say "My kids is notty la."
Really?
Think again.
They are notty because....they are not doing things according to the way WE want it. Its always about how we want it. How about their feelings? Did u ever ask them how they want it to be? We want things to go according to us so that our plan can go on smoothly, just the way we want it. But does it mean that your way is the ideal way? The best way? And one more thing, do you ever wonder that they are notty because ....they followed your footstep?

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Another thing - Hyper kids. The parents cannot cope. So the parent will say "Oh they are hyperactive!". I went to a talk that day and she told us that there are no hyperactive kids. There's only under active parents like us. Cos we're so lazy to chase after them. But why are they moving so fast ? Cos the brains are working twice and they are 2 times smarter than US, adults. So do you think they wil sit still? If they sit still, you should be worried. HAH! One good example that she used is "Have u seen Tom & Jerry sitting down in the cartoon? No right? They are moving. That's why children love to watch them. But we adult dislike it. Instead we like to sit down , watch Korean Drama for 3 days 3 nights, cry cry cry, no eat no sleep and still enjoy it. Why? No need to move and use brain..that's why.. That's how underactive we are now. Nah Nah Nah...dun come and attack me cos i said the Korean Drama ok? I know many of you guys watch it, I'm just repeating what she said during the talk.

So sometimes when I see ppl scold the kids or say that they are naughty, I really want to laugh out loud. Cos they forgot to evaluate themself and just like to blame others for own mistake. Okay dun wanna laugh at people too much, I need to evaluate myself also. I'm also a new parent and I'm not perfect. Ok,I wanna do meditate now and think about it..

Aummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

25 comments:

  1. ya ya!! this time me 1st to comment!

    I totally agree with what you said! People tend to point at others and never want to admit it;s own fault, what to do, thank to the person who started the point point finger action! hahaha!

    I rather my kid run around actively, don't want a kid who sit by a corner and read book, soon become book worm and cannot communicate with others.

    Straight A people at the end of the day also need to eat, sleep , shit and DIE, so why need to be so special, be normal people will do! HAPPY GO LUCKY!! yeah!

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  2. agree with u ! but i am wondering if i can be such an open minded mum like u in future but it is unavoidable because this world is too competitive , we need to prepare our kids for that!! i'm sure u r a good mommy!! keep it up !!

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  3. i memang one non competitive parent
    other parents start to look at me one kind liao

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  4. wah these few days why all ur post so serious one....relax lah :)

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  5. wah, your uncle sounds like my father. that is the typical apek-cina parenting to me..and I never agree to that

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  6. Hahahaha. I won't scold you cos I dun watch Korean drama one. No time. Always on the move like a notty kid. (accept when I'm in front of the pc). Our kids are a reflection of us. So next time better be careful about calling them notty. Lol!

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  7. I agree... what you said is true. Sometimes we are parents maybe don't have that much energy and blame more to our kids... ahhh i must stop blaming my daughter... :D

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  8. Sasha,
    This is so well said! I likey!:D

    It's always children at fault, they are naughty, they are hyperactive but the adults don't see themselves wrong. Who don't shape them to be good? Don't tell me the kids know how to see what things are correct or not.

    Yes, straight A students are not always the smartest. They are smart when it comes to books and also exams. But when it comes to L-I-F-E, they scratch head, don't know how to handle. Some of my smart friends don't even know how to tukar tyres which is one of the simplest things in engineering (just taking this as an example).

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  9. agree!! totally agree! i think i will scare if my kids sit diam diam all the time... and also will worry if my boy dont want to play gun but want to play barbie doll only!!!

    hahaha...

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  10. Sha, U make me feel guilty liou. Co'z I always said Adriel Notty and hyperactive :(

    So now I shd 'put my pillow higher and think' liou

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  11. wow, his wife must be under extreme pressure, especially with her position in her profession. also one thing, tak bagi muka kat anak, bagi muka kat bini lor.

    anyway, good post on this one. :)

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  12. I also want my kids to run up & down tapi sometimes I really no stamina to look after them lah!! so no choice hv to shout else they can;t hear....wahahahaha....

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  13. Well said. I have nothing else to add.

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  14. this is the most meaningful post EVER!

    i really need to show it to SOME parents who keep on complaining and complaining and complaining (x 100) that their kid is hyperactive..and the wife who doesn't have to work..can't cope with just taking care of the kid only..and some household chores

    parents nowdays r so spoilt..given the olden times..our parents did so much for us! esp for those who came from a no so well off family

    n i hate parents who want their kids to score all As..they will never grow up properly..they'll be like those who only know how to read books with their thick glasses on..n when they get provoked..they might kill somebody..haih

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  15. I agreed with you Sasha sometimes we as a parents also need to evaluate ourself as we are the example for the kids mah!!

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  16. I totally agree. Active kids are better than those quiet ones, although I do run out of breath chasing the lil' dude around! Haha! Oh well, that's my form of exerciselah.. :P

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  17. true..that's why i dont like ppl calling my kids baughty..not even family members...cause by calling them naughty, it is a sign that the kid has inconvenienced them...kids are just being kids...whenever we 'think' they are naughty, it's because they are not acting the way we want them to be.

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  18. also..if my kid ends up getting 0 all the time, i also can't help but to worry also and wont be as open minded to just chill...see la when the time comes...

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  19. woah... i like this post very much lo... i strongly AGREED with u... sometimes parents r like that lo...

    me ah, get bad result at my mandarin (after i change school) woah my dad go so berang and ....

    after that incident, im afraid to fail lo.... so now make me so *ku ku* liao hahaha

    my uncle's son also hyperactive.. and they complaint complaint... duh.. why cant they find solution instead of blaming at the kid... haiyo.... maybe ADHD.. who knows right... at least help them ma instead of scold them.... beh tahan....

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  20. Anonymous2:55 PM

    yeah, you are right. some people just like to point finger to other, just like my man, loves to point his finger down to me when Jo cannot learn well. Gosh, how am i going to cope with everything alone? Perhaps he thinks i have 3 heads and 6 hands..

    huisia

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  21. haha....we can't see how ourself behave ma..which is normal :p

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  22. True what you say...
    It's easier to blame others than yourself..

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  23. Agree! agree! you have said it all. Ok, will try not to use 'Naughty Boy'. sometimes habit de hehehhe....

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  24. Another 'chim' one..

    pregnancy hormones kaco-ing you?

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  25. mama bok2:55 AM

    I hear yer.. Sasha..! some ppl are funny lah..! i ignore ppl like that.

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