Monday, April 28, 2008

Rejected Kid

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Me...a rejected kid.

Many people told me that they felt the same when they read my "Small in size but big in my heart" post. To be honest, I was worried and think about him all the time cos I know he's not happy at his nanny's place and constantly being bullied by the nanny and another girl in that place.

Lately its been very obvious that they really bully my son. The girl is only 1 but knows very well how to bully him. Every morning she will wait for Jayden to bring his bag and she will ransack his bags and snatch all his toys. And the nanny? She will help to snatch and give all to the precious girl when she run to her and say "Uhuk Uhuk Ming Ming......" and point at my son and the brainless nanny will help to snatch the toy and give it to her. For 2 years, the nanny had never praised my son for anything. It's always complain complain and more complains about him "Mowe Kwai Yung" (useless), Say that he is skinny and doesn't know how to get chubby, Says that he dunno how to talk and only know how to cry. I told her off once, "he is speaking english, Don't you know what he is saying?" And she stopped complaining. She said that he is useless cos he dun wanna to be potty trained and the girl can go to toilet and do her business. Why not leh? The nanny pays 200% to the girl what? Why not? But today I still see the girl in mamy poko diaper. Anyway, wherever the girl does it's always "Pandai....so clever..." Ptuik! Never sleep also clever girl..drink milk in bottle more than 30 mins one kali also clever girl.. Ptuik!

And what is worst? I gotto bring Jayden's toys to the nanny's house EVERYDAY. Why? she just dun wanna leave the toys in her house. And the other day I saw her hiding the puzzle bag on the shoe cabinet when I was about to leave the house and when I went to fetch J, she told me J dun wanna play the puzzle. How to play when she already hid the puzzle in the morning?

And why did i put him there although I know the nanny doesn't like him? Cos I have no choice and I don't wanna scare Jayden with sudden change. At least he thinks that the nanny cared for him. And at least she won't harm him. He will call out "aunty aunty whenever we pass the woman's house" That is how much he care for the aunty but aunty? No love or what so ever feeling towards him although she took care of him since 6 weeks old.

So i told myself tahan for another month. Wait till J get his Hep A jab and I can send him to Playsch + daycare. But on Friday itself when i was driving towards her house, I saw her and J in the garden. They're smiling. But once I got down she gave the look like as if she was so damn tired and was about to die. And told me "Sasha I don't want to jaga your son anymore. He only know how to cry and he likes to jump. I'm very tired"

My reaction? Immediately I laughed out. Don't ask me why I laughed. I was just too (angry? Sad? Disappointed? Happy?) I have no idea what I was feeling and I just asked her "So when do you want to stop?" At one point I wanted to scold her or even tell her off saying that I already knew about it, that she doesn't love my son and yadayadayada and she is lazy and just wanna take care of smaller baby so that they will sleep and sleep and wont walk around like my son. But anyway I just kissed my son and went home. That cheesed her even more. Everytime she complaint about my son, I will just kiss him and hug him tight. Expect me to hit my son and scold him in front of you? Slowly wait la...

So the next day, we immediately brought him to the sch (that I have sourced even before he turned 2) to register and get his uniform. They even told me that I can start on Monday (today). Thank god, I sorta suspected that something is not right and I went to source for the playschool. So everything went like so smooth for us (for NOW). We went home and put him into his uniform and this is how he looked like.

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Saying 10 and 1!

We even let him mingle around with some kids at the daycare on Sat. He was busy jumping around like tigger and played together but not with the kids. That's one thing I want him to learn which is to play with other kids.

This morning, he couldn't get up. So i dragged him into the car and once reached, he stood up and saw the sch and happily walked in himself. He went into the classroom himself and wanted to sit at the seat he sat last Sat. But it was taken so teacher asked him to sit next to her.



He was okay at first but then his tigger mojo came and he began to bounce bounce in the class, walk and read alphabets on the wall.



But other than day, he didn't cry except for few occasions when he saw me and asked me to join him in class especially the music class. But overall I think he enjoyed himself. We waited at the gate like other kids and as the bell rang, everyone said YAY!!! and he too shouted YAY but he has no idea what is happening. *LOL*

And when I drove him back to the nanny's place, he began to cry. I left him to buy some lunch for myself and I took a bath before heading to drop some toys for him and he was STILL CRYING. He refused his lunch and as soon as he saw me , he took his slipper and asked me to carry him. And then he calmed down, I whispered to him "mami go work ok?" He yelled "BABAI!" and so i walked out and he CRIED AGAINNNNNNNNN.

Sigh Sigh Sighhhhhhhhhhhhh That is how much he hates the nanny place.

And now that I know (officially) the nanny dislike him, I lagi Susah hati wanna leave him there. I felt like I wanna resign and jaga my kids (no.2 coming in Sept). But then I wanna have my own income so I can have backup plan IF ANYTHING HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE-no one know what's gonna happen anyway. i gotto decide soon cos I gotto pay the sch in May already- whether its half day or full day (daycare). But i sayang wanna leave him there for the whole day. He is going to the youngest kiddo (and also the smallest size). I saw the tilams being laid on the floor, and the pillows arranged in one straight line for the boy and girls to sleep. There will be 29 of them for the daycare. They will bath, eat lunch, sleep and do some activities like coloring and so on. Sigh..this is even tougher than any other problems I have faced before. So susah SO SO SUSAH...

43 comments:

  1. poooor jayden.
    it's a good choice that you are putting him in school! that useless nanny...know how to complain only - totally NOT good for Jayden. I'm sure he will do better in school!:P at least you can go to work with a lighter heart :)

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  2. Karen6:26 PM

    I'd feel the same if I were you but luckily where I am (AUS) the childcare my baby goes to gives her a lot of affectionate and care, the carers threat every babies equally.. which I'm happy about. Indeed we need to work to fulfilled the needs for our kid's future, is there anyway you can work from home?

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  3. Don't worry la..everything will be alright ler...

    He will be fine and he will mix well with other kids as well...

    Quickly leave the nanny la...after she abuse J also u dunno...

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  4. sasha, i feel really sad when i read this post and why is jayden still at the heartless woman's hse? if i were u, i wld def send jayden to childcare, at least he gets to learn abd, and socialise there.i understand how u feel when someone who sees ur children quite often doesnt love ur kids. for 2 yrs liao and u can tahan the nanny!!! i really salute u!! which nanny is that? let me complain her and i believe u stay in pj, me too, so let me be the bad person to spread around her smelly business. or can u find another babysitter if u really think that jayden shd go to a nanny's hse then a childcare. according to my MIL, children below 2 can easily adapt to changes or diff caretaker. and since jayden doesnt like that blady nanny place, dont let him be there la. i am only imagining what nanny does to jayden. why make a lil one suffer and feel not being loved and hatred,etc... love is what children needs, not hatred...hv u ever thot of nny abusing him? scared leh.. somemore she got the guts to tell u that ur son is useless,etc... GET HIM OUT OF THERE! come over to my place!!! nope, am not a babysitter, but if u suddenly feel that enuff is enuff and wanna teach nanny a lesson, put jayden in the car and scold the nanny to the ceiling, and bring him away, u can send him over to my place for the day.. while u think where to send jayden..hihi... i got a contact of a baby sitter in PJ but dont know good or not... u want u email me ya...

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  5. i agreed with Wen also, if i am in ur situation i rather stay at home and work from home. At least my baby will not feel rejected especially those ppl that never have a heart!

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  6. adrian9:46 PM

    Where got rejected kid wor... just bcoz the nanny couldn't handle him, doesn't mean he's a rejected kid. U accepted him mah, so did the playschool.

    But some aunties are like dat wan, so damn mulut busuk. U're so nice to not 'tiu kaw' her but I can understand why also. Especially when u need her to look after J.

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  7. Your nanny shouldn't be a nanny. What a b#$%h. Accept people's money and ill treat people's children like dat. Sigh, the sooner your son is rid of that nanny, the better.

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  8. etceteramommy10:49 PM

    I feel very sad too reading the post. Nowhere can be worse than nanny's place. I would send J to the playschool without a doubt. He needs to be in a normal environment; not a place of verbal abuse and discrimination. Send him! Send him to playschool. I supprt!

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  9. Ptuik! to the Nanny. You know, I think you should just listen to your heart. Several years ago, I had to make this big decision too and today, I have no regrets. Money will always come. You are a talented girl, money will always come. :-) Besides, the kids will only be 3 years old ONCE this lifetime. Just ONCE......Having said that, life at home as a stay-at-home Mom is bloody challenging, can go mental. So.....listen to your heart.

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  10. I think he'd be happier in the daycare than this terrible nanny's plc. How on earth can u take care of a child for 2 yrs (since bb) n not love him to bits? I think something's not vy right with that lady. Moreover, at the daycare, he'll hv more (productive) activities to do n kids to play with. Better than nanny's plc being bullied by lil girl.

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  11. aiyo...ini punya nanny tarak guna betul sigh...it's a good move to put him to playschool.

    follow mother instinct

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  12. It's time to send Jayden to playschool. Forget the useless nanny.

    Secondly, I would totally support you to quit your job. It doesnt mean you cannot join the work force later. You can take a year sabbatical and in the mean time look for a good and loving nanny in your area for your No 2. I am sure in within a year, you should be able to get a good nanny. This is my 2 cent worth.

    Good luck.

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  13. geez, lost my comment earlier.
    Aww, this post really makes me teary eye. No kidding. As a mom I feel you, knowing that you have all the dilemma, wanting the best for Jayden.
    You know your kid the best, do what you think is the best for you and Jayden. He is one lucky kid for having a good loving mommy like you. YOu too, give yourself a big pat, you deserved it.
    *hugs*
    Ps. Please don't feel that Jayden is a rejected kid, he have a lot of people who loves him =P. Forget about that no use nanny. Me love Jayden so much!

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  14. From my own experience, the first few wks at daycare will be difficult on the parent(s). Oh yea, and the kids too...but more difficult on the parent. After a while, you will be glad Jayden is in the daycare. We're glad we sent Belle off to the daycare at 13 mth-old. She was the youngest at that time. So, don't worry too much. You've done your h/w on the daycare and I'm sure it is a good one; otherwise you wouldn't buy the uniform, kan? :)

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  15. ask the nanny to "jiak sai" lah... Lil J is not rejected Kid ok he dont like that nanny also wert..

    dont worry lah .. put him at the daycare and try lor.. if it's ok then continue lor.. if it's not then... change other daycare lor.. got so many daycare in town..

    worrying too much not good for No. 2 lah ..

    cheer up ok !!!.. *hugz*

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  16. Anonymous9:11 AM

    i feel sad reading this post, poor Jayden. Since the nanny not loving him, u can consider kiddy + daycare. Maybe you feel reluctant to send him whole day but at least he can learn to be more socialize and more displine there. working mum dont have much choice I can say. I think daycare nowadays are more reliable then those "AUNTY".

    Brianmum

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  17. (pak pak buijek)
    (you know I am no good in saying anything, just here silently support you)

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  18. wow..u're juggling through alot of things at once.

    i think a daycare centre would be better for jayden, at least he will get chances to make friends, and i'm sure the teachers there are WAYYY better than the nanny!

    as for whether u want to work or not, maybe you can get freelance jobs where you can work from home? that way u can still have income n watch jayden, and the coming one =)

    oh yea n i can help wen spread out how bad the stupid nanny is if u want! i know few si lais around my neighbourhood ^^ hehe

    do take care okies..hope u can solve the problems soon

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  19. Oh Sasha, I feel for you. What a tough situation. I would get my child out of any caretaker who calls him "Mowe Kwai Yung". How could she?!

    Try the daycare since he is not crying and seem to be accepting it there. Even if he cries it will only be initially. I saw a little boy younger than Jayden at my girl's kindy/daycare who cried so hard initially but he looks happy now so they will learn to adapt.

    If you're thinking of quiting, perhaps you could plan for some freelance work. You're so good so you could be a WAHM. That way you don't have to worry about not having Plan B where money is concerned.

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  20. Hi dear,don't think too much I'm sure Jayden is happy at school got so many friends. Give him sometimes to adapt to the new environment so do you :)

    Cheers!

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  21. Trust your motherly instincts to do what is right, whether it is leaving the nanny or quitting your job. I can't believe she is still calling him "Mowe kwai yung" after all this time....that is considered verbal abuse liao.
    Take care, and I believe everything will fall into place soon.

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  22. He's not a rejeccted kidlah. The nanny is just a silly old woman. Take him out of there soon because I shudder to think what she's capable of doing next. I seriously think that she has a major problem in the mental department and since J is happier in the school why not leave him there whole day? I'm sure you have your reasons, so choose the best one! :) Good luck!

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  23. Don't sent him to nanny house anymore, since he don't like nanny place at all. Totally agree to sent him to playschool, i know it's really hard at the first place, when u have to see your son mix together with so many other kids. We definetly will fell worried. When i put my sons at nursery they are barely 2yo, i worried and heart aching for two weeks. Every morning see them crying, and see other kids bully them in front of me, snatching "jut jut" from my son's mouth and run away, and my sons crying pityful and follow behind asking for the jut jut, u said my heart ache?? I scare the food at the nursery my boys don like to eat, i even brought their food to school, bring their own mattress. But now they are there for one year already, i so glad i put them there earlier, they make more friends and they learn ABC and 123 and they learn sing song and they learn so so many things! And they are not shy now, when see people at least they greet and said hello.

    Sorry for the long winded comment. I still support u to sent Jayden to playschool!! At least u don't need to worry so much and when u pick up jayden from playschool, u don't need to see that "woman" PITIFUL face and listen to the complains!

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  24. jacss1:33 PM

    dear sasha..u won't believe it, i can totally feel for u as i had been thru exactly d same situation like u when my boys were 2.
    n d worst part was i discovered tat d bbsitter/principal actually 'beat' my boys as she has very hot temper...but infront of us pretended to be so good!
    my heart ached so badly after that...we immdtly applied for a maid & the 3 months we waited for d arrival of d maid was so torturing....knowing that they will be tortured & abused, seeing them crying every morning into d school....
    so pls do somethg for jay...if he cry like that it is pretty sure that he wasn't happy!!
    good luck to u though....sob sob sob!

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  25. Maybe you can put him in a daycare and meanwhile try scouting around for another babysitter. It is no point to continue sending him to the babysitter. Very poor thing for Jayden.

    I can understand your point of being too young for daycare as I share the same sentiments, but given your situation it is better for Jayden to spend a happier time in the daycare than at the babysitter.

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  26. if he's not happy at nanny or nanny dislike him... I guess it would be better off if he doesnt go. Seems like nanny berat sebelah... care more for the girl.

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  27. since he likes the day care so much, u can consider send him there for half day or full day. Even if you resign and stay at home, when baby #2 comes, u need to send J to at least half day care too, don't think u will be able to handle a baby and an active toddler all by yourself, u will pull all your hair!

    FORGET about the nanny!! Sasha, don't send your son there for her to torture, u r paying someone to torture ur son!!! MANA BOLEH!!

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  28. Sasha, my aunt is a nanny and she loves children. She cares for them as if they were her own. There is no biasness when it comes to her and handling the kids. If you want, I can give you her contact. You can email me at embaby83@gmail.com.

    Anyway the nanny that Jayden now have, its best that you take him out from there before his liveliness is 'sucked out' by her. Its awful to compare kids. They should be given chance to develop their own creativity, their own mind and their own milestones.

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  29. read also sad...
    lucky jayden got LOTSA aunties and uncles like us to sayang him... but the daycare 29 kids, how many ppl jaga? what if other kids bully j also? how many teacher to kids? sigh, this is always the worry for working mothers...

    big hugz to jayden...

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  30. alicia9:07 PM

    ur nanny reli teruk leh... can understand n know how u feel... my maid oso said my children very noti n doesnt wanna take care of them

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  31. warao what kind of bb sitter is that? need to report her la! ptuik!

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  32. oh dear so sad ...:) don't bring him back to the BITCH la , please she is a stupid fool , i hate it when ppl treat kids like this .. love one and don't love other , I am so cross reading this feel like kick her ass for you.
    if little jayden is not happy there don't bring him back I remeber there long time ago oliver when to this nursery very near by me each time he arrive he hold on the car door wouldn't want to go into the nursery and I wonder why and I ask to wait and look at my own son doing the nursery boss say no to me . sometime oliver come back with some blue and black there say he so careless and full down , I get so angry and I find another place and when oliver went in to there skol he just love it and never hold the car door just so happy to go in ,
    Nanny is bad some of them , don't eve think of send you next one there too .please ....
    do think care have you find out girl or boy yet ??
    I did !:)

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  33. Don't too worry about it, Sasha..just follow what is best for your son. If I'm you, long time, I 'fired' the nanny liao...there is plenty nanny out there who is caring...changing nanny might be difficult for Jayden, but, it is temporary...Kid adapt fast....
    For daycare/kindy, no worries, Jona is in daycare, and he seem to be so happy mingle around, sleep on mattress together with other kids....and I'm happily go to work know that my kids are happy and safe no matter at nanny place or kindy/daycare

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  34. Thanks for sharing this with us here ... and thanks for ur advice over the msn.

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  35. after looking at the video, i feel like he's happier at the school than the nanny. he is not scared of his classmates and teacher and at ease with the new environment.

    it's also good to send him there halfday first and let him settle down with the new env. only thing is it'll be tiring for you to send and fetch lor

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  36. Poor Boy, feel so sad for him. I wonder what did the nanny do to him and he will cry every time you leave him there. I think you should try and put him in the playschool. From the way you discribe the nanny dont sound good.

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  37. Poor Jayden. I am sure there are better nanny out there. I think she is the "mo kwai yung", do not know how to provide TLC to Jayden. I will fired her straight if any she say that to my children.

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  38. the uniform so cute! just like LAT!

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  39. ok. your backup plan, i cannot help laughing when i read that but don't get me wrong cos i too know it's not funny. no one can understand this better than a stay at home mom like me, when hubs is the only one bringing home the dough.
    honestly, i cannot help thinking 'what if' one day he leaves us, i'll be doomed for life cos i don't work.
    but to think that i have to leave my son in someone else's care when i go to work, just is more unbearable. so now i'm officially without a back up plan. but i cannot be more grateful than seeing my own son grow up in my own care, things he do, things he learned, i got to witness it all.

    as for the nanny, ask her go eat shit la. so damn heartless and inconsiderate. don't let her babysit jayden any longer anymore, her rejecting little j all the time is not very good for his self esteem, you don't want jayden to grow up a timid and low self esteem boy. Stupid nanny praising the girl and caci him is too much i think. Give her a slap from me.

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  40. I don't understand leh, the nanny so -ve, why you still send him there?

    Aiyo.. pull him out ASAP ler. Such bad karma she's emiting.

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  41. Aduhhh.. so kesian JD. You're not rejected bah JD.. dont worry mommy. He's a bright kid, dont need nanny. If you can afford, just let him at the daycare. If the nanny dont want him.. u better not force her.

    smart lagi dia pegi sekolah. myJosh not yet. :( and he hates his auntie too :shock:

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  42. Anonymous3:57 PM

    OMG...what nanny you had..
    didn't she has "feel" to J since she was the one who took care J ?? Gosh, i just can't believe can have this sort of woman.

    huisia

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