Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Jayden, are you a naughty boy?

Remember I used to say people like to judge me based on how I looked? People are still doing that, I don't blame them. I do have a "naughty" face. So what? It doesn't mean that I looked naughty, then I should be naughty right? I don't have to proof to them that I don't smoke or drink or club. I syiok sendiri when I am at home with my 2 guys. That's the best!

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And guess what? Now, people are judging my son based on how he looks. Not long ago, a relative said to his wife "he has very naughty look" pointing at Jayden.

Then a friend said to me " your son is so naughty hor?" because he wouldn't sit still on the high chair. He wants to get down to walk around because he was so bored with us yakking and drinking our teh ais.

Sometime his own dadi will smack his bum and said "Why You're so naughty!" . I asked Big C, why do you always say that he is notty? Everyone don't understand him that's why they said he is naughty. And he stopped saying that.

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Sometime, I get the urge to scold him "Jayden, why you so like that?" But most of the time, I will just look at him and wonder myself, Is my son naughty?
There are many things which he did that really make me wonder if he is really naughty, like:
  • He likes to dig my kitchen cabinet, take out all the containers and leave it lying all over the floor.
  • He likes to throw books and flash cards on the floor, and then choose what he want to read.
  • He likes to dig the DVD/CD folder, throw everything on the floor and choose what he want to watch.
  • He doesn't sit still while eating on the high chair - he prefer to stand up.
  • He will play with the puzzle, but purposely want to fit the piece in another hole and whine when he can't chuck it in.(why?)
  • He love to open the door to go out of the bedroom but he closes the door before he leave. (thats very good)
  • He love to align the farm animals in one straight line and then push them down and say "Oh! ohhh.." and then align them again.
Then when I read updates about other kids being able to say so many words already and mine is stucked with a few, it got me wondering again. Is my son slow?
How come he doesn't talk like them?
How come he doesn't play and interact like them?
How come he acts this way?
Is he.............normal?

He is super hyperactive, there's no doubt about it. He just want to play, play and play ALONE. Very seldom you will see him interact with other kids. I thought that he was a loner but once he surprised me when we're at secret recipe playground when he played with a girl ( I think few months older than him, and she was a pretty one *wink*). I asked him where is cheh cheh and he walked towards the girl, pointed at her, touched her nose and shouted CHEH CHEH! Okay, a respond from him! I was so happy, but that's all la. No more after that. :(

He doesn't want anyone to disturb him when he is trying to read a book by himself. When you help him, he will turn the pages or even throw the book away. Maybe he thought that we wanted the book, so he let go off the book?

Many times when I see someone trying to take things from him, he will walk off. The other day at the Farm, I looked from far, my other nephew snatched a card from him. So he ignored that guy and took another card and he snatched it away from Jayden again and again and again. And Jayden just ignored him and then left him with all the cards and no one to play with. (serve him right! ahaks!) So he has his own personality of "you want ah? naah take la! I malas wanna fight with you" that kinda attitude.


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After a few days of observation, I decided to accept that Jayden is different. He has his own character. His own style. His own way of doing things. He, is just like me. He understand ( i hope) what people are saying but just choose to ignore us and sometimes it is very obvious that he purposely do what we asked him not to do to get attention and it is very obvious that he is very stubborn.

But imagine this, people have never seen him fighting or hurting other kids but they are already judging him saying that he is naughty. Same like those people that judge me based on how I looked. Well, can't stop them from making judgement. We sendiri know better. 

Nevermind, if people want to say that he is naughty let them say. As his mother, I will try to understand him and not call him naughty like other people did and also allow him to grow and progress at his own pace and not compare him with other kids. Instead, I should guide him, pay more attention to him and remind myself that I should be happy with him being healthy and normal. :)

51 comments:

  1. sasha,
    Don't worry about how people look at you or your son. For me, I think children can be naughty when they're small. That's where next time, they'll have some childhood memories mah? If diam diam there, no play, no speak, alamakkk...

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  2. Babe! Like I've told you a gazillion times over.. there's no need to worry! Kids are kids and they will grow at their own rate. Tell those judgemental people who like to sit on their high horses to STFU. Seriously, they should check on themselves too - are their kids so well behaved?

    I'd worry like hell if my son just wants to sit in the chair, tak move and doesn't get bored with the old ladies chatting and drinking teh ais. Heck, I'd be bored to tears myself, and get restless on top of that. So, like I said, it's just normal. Don't worry too muchlah, you're already losing too much weight. And with everything else that is going on with you - take it easy!

    By the way, I love all the pics you've taken. :)

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  3. i think i can say, nadia said all... hahaha... from the i have told u repeatedly to kids got different milestone to the judgemental ppl to we never stop worrying to u are losing too much weight to the pics u took... :D (so easy way out hoh)

    when i read the list u put in there, i felt like, halo, kids commonly do that, seriously... and i think j is just active (VERY), and just let him explore his own inquisitive mind...

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  4. You know I'm lying if I tell you I never compare my son to other kids. But, I think it's important to know the reason why we are comparing. For me, I'm happy to know that my son is growing and doing things like what most other kids do. Sometimes, he's slow in certain things or did not achieved the same milestone as the others. But I'm still happy in whatever he achieves, slow or fast. I love him for who he is.

    Don't think too much about what other people say about our kids. If it's true, then we accept it or see what we can do about it. If not, then just ignore it because we know our kids better than anyone else in this world. Sometimes compliments are meaningless if the person is not sincere.

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  5. mom2ashley5:08 PM

    kids are only 'naughty' because they don't conform to what WE adults would like them to do or say....so naughty is a relative word i suppose. to the kids, they're just exploring...trying to figure out things...:) chill babe!

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  6. Put it this way:

    If a kid is not active, we have to be really worried, right?

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  7. normal??? who wants to be normal??? :)

    yeah, enjoy him.... you will miss what he is today many years from now. much more importantly - LOVE him!! you don't need us to tell you that coz you r doing it already!.

    once upon a time many called me 'party animal' - what party animal? i'm such a homely person... just like you- i like being at home and shiok with my boys!

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  8. yo babe! let him grow at his own pace, no two kids are the same. even twins like my sister and i, i bodoh sikit tau- since as long as i can remember. but i grew up happy go lucky all the time. no worries nothing.
    i'm sure jayden is not naughty, he just loves to explore new things. so cool it babe..

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  9. who said he is naughty? and as long as he is happy and healthy is goood enuff for me edi

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  10. Hey, your Jayden is not Notty lar. As wat u said, he has his owned way of doing things differently from the rest. I'm sure when he grows up he will be as SMART as his MUMMY.

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  11. If kids are not 'naughty' then they're probably not kids but robots.

    Jayden is 'naughty' because he 'looks naughty' or he can't sit still??

    Aiyoh ... it's natural lah for kids to behave like that. These people .... *tsk*!

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  12. I try not to compare my girl with others children. The most important thing is that they are healthy. And of course they got lotsss of love from us.

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  13. alamak...

    to me, everyone is notty la.

    even adults. wakakakakakaka...

    what to do? too good...like errr... something not quite right leh...

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  14. Kudos to you for writing such an interesting and outspoken post. Everywhere there are people that like to judge and compare, the best thing is just to ignore them like what you have said. You are an intelligent person; your this post have stated what you exactly know and want about how things should turn out to be. That is highly commendable. *high five*
    Well, I don't think you look naughty at all haha, you are one hot looking momma.
    By the way, my son was born exactly the day Jayden was born on the 21st March, my son isn't even talking yet, so I guess he is super slow then. =) However, I just let him be him, coz I know one day he is gonna talk. Just when he thinks the time is right. Kids do have their own opinions too, they are smart also.
    Jayden looks very bright to me and I am so proud of him and you for the good upbringing. I am sure you are very proud of his extremely superb qualities too =). He loves you and you love him, that is all that does matter.

    Take care! Merry Christmas and Happy New year!
    PS. Give your little munchkin a big wet kiss for me.

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  15. i scooted over to your "mistaken...Me' post and have to say..... 'woman, you have such GREAT characters!!!"

    its your childhood that's bring out the best in you. i think you are not naughty but very street-wise gal!

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  16. sorry.. wrong spelling - streetwise not strict wise.

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  17. so sorry to confuse you.... just notice that i spelled it correctly the 1st time. *slap head*

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  18. love all the pics you have taken :D Lil J looks cool in the army t-shirt :D BTW, don't listen to those EFNTD people. I get a lot of such comments too because Ashley only started talking when she's 2. Even my MIL keeps saying that her grandchild is slow compared to other kids >(

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  19. etceteramommy1:07 AM

    Dear.. I'm no expert when it comes to parenting and I do get worried when Ryan doesnt meet certain milestones. But we have to try not to get too stressed about it. The kids could feel our emotions through telepathy. So I always tell myself not to get too worried, don't get too stressed, etc... So, mo lum kum tor..just enjoy the journey now, the moment.

    Mmm.. I think I'm too much 'yeh so' already.. just to let you know.. no kids grow at same rate. I'm telling myself the same thing from time to time...and importantly they are healthy right??

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  20. Anonymous8:57 AM

    sasha,

    i dont bother what ppl said. I usually answer them : if a boy is not naughty then he must be silly. haha . . . for me all kids are normally naughty and this suppose to be their childhood memory. if a kid sit still whole day long, i think we are the one suppose to worry.
    Bmum

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  21. Just ignore those people's comments on your son. They just simply "eat too full, nothing to do, nothing to talk" so simply said ur son is naughty.

    Hey, ur having a son, and u expect him to sit still on the chair, no moving around? I will prefer my son to run around, being cheeky, being naughty. Afterall, this is childhood what!

    He doesn't fight with others for thing and will let go when other take it from him?? THIS IS GOOD!!!! Means he know how to share with others!!

    Also, don't pressure urself by comparing ur kids with others. I know, some ppl like to bother us by telling us how come our kid dunno this whereas their kid know edi...WHO CARE!!! It's a bit hard to find 100% similarity among kids, so it's cool that our kid has their own style! UNIQUE!

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  22. be happy with Jayden..he's such a lovely boy..we can't stop ppl fr saying things they wanted but d most important things is, we know our child and know their true character is..cheerish this moment with Jayden coz soon he'll be a big boy and may not want us around anymore..like Josh treat me now :-(

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  23. JulianMorin.com10:14 AM

    If you read most children development articles, they will tell you that each kid develops differently and at their own pace. They always tell you that not to compare with other kids as each kid has their own development pace. Your son may develop slower than my daughter but for your info, my niece also develop very slow. She's almost 3 years old now and yet probably speak less words than Jayden.

    As for children being naughty, I'd say all children are naughty. When I'm a kid I'm naughty also hehehe.. it's part of growing up. I'd rather have them naughty than sitting quietly and not doing anything, that is not normal liao. Even Paed will tell you that they are active it would better.

    So dont worry k... :0

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  24. bravo bravo! well said, jayden's mami! one day jayden'll read this post and feel proud of having u as his mom. guaranteed lah!

    to hell with what other ppl think!

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  25. Notti baru cute mah? Kuai-kuai then got nothing to discuss, share and blog liao..then mah boring kan.

    Anyway, i agree with you, as long as healthy, who cares what other people say *wink*

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  26. ur son got character :)

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  27. Hello Sasha, was at Moonlight-and Tears blog, noticed your callsign.
    When a young boy is mischevious or "naughty"...actually HE is intelligent, creative, and a mind that seeks answers.
    Just guide him the best you know, slowly as he grows up, you'll see, he will change to be what you both want.
    It will be yours (mostly) and your good looking husband's influence that will have a bearing on his future.
    A son tends to copy, learn, imitate his dad, or mother...
    I am sure and confident that one day when he graduates as an Aeronautical Engineer or doctor, you and hubby will look back and laugh.
    Yes, Sasha, time flies..enjoy your son now and don't worry what people say or talk about whoever's son.
    People can always see the faults of other children, never their own, believe you me.
    Have fun, Sasha and happy holidays and a very happy new year to all of you. Best regards, UL.

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  28. pictures very nice lar. using ur new 'toy' heh?

    all kids are notty one, well at least i know mine and my sister sons both also notty. always kena scolding from mommies.

    you don't have to worry what ppl say, i know you don't. those type of ppl very rude, say ppl's kid in front of them.

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  29. ehh...put it this way, ppl who said u look naughty are simply jealous....bcoz u got the 'city' & 'in' look ma, haha!!

    and yr jayden...like that naughty ahh???? sap sap sui only woh!! wait till you experience "mine" first la....

    if only d speech is bit slow...i think u shouldn't be worrying too much...take it easy, never know, in no time, yr ears would be bugged by jayden's non-stop noises !!

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  30. How does he qualify to be naughty when he doesn't even snatch things from others (when other kids try to take his stuff)? He's prefectly normal lah. Anyway, glad that u oredi hv the answers n know wat to do to nurture his special character.

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  31. Ern doesn't speak much either...she is another syiok syoik baru talk type also...

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  32. Don't worry what others say. The best is not to compare. Children comes in all shapes and sizes and every child is different.

    Jayden is normal and curious.

    Of course, where discipline is called for it should be given but you as a mother will discern what he does is right or wrong and no one else can know.

    You take care.

    Wishing you and your lovely family a very Merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

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  33. Your boy is just being a boy.... what kid don't get in trouble for the smallest things :P

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  34. sasha dear :
    don't worry la those ppl tookay poh la , the next time there say it to you face u say it back to them ... KIDS ... kids supost to be playful and naughty if he just sit there not naughty must be something wwrong with it tell them ... some ppl huh , you r little angel is normal la he is a cute boy and lovely handsome one .. from my heart he is lovely dun't give a shit wat ppl say F.......k thme la
    take it easy on yourself u are not naughty too you are lovely and sexy xxxx

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  35. you just said it! let jayden grow at his own pace, although lots of support and guidance from you and his daddy doesn't hurt either :P

    as parents we do tend to compare, but only you will know your son best. if for a moment you feel that something isn't quite right, get professional help. don't listen to yeemaguteh.

    my aidan has got speech delay and although others tell me he's fine lar, he'll talk when he wants to talk lar, 'your cousin's son didn't talk till 5 lar' i didn't listen to them. call it mother's instinct. watever it is, go with your gut feelings. am lucky i seeked help early, otherwise now still wu-tiong-tiong.

    don't worry woman. you are doing a good job and just fine :)

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  36. aiya..why r u always so concerned on how ppl talk and think about you?? liddat very tiring leh...mouth in ppl's body cannot control n cannot care so much la! walk straight stand straight who gives a *toot* what other ppl think wor..

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  37. I donch understand.. how ppl can make this kinda remark about other ppl's kid..?? what gives them the right .>?? Had i been there.. Sasha.. i would have bitch slapped them for you..! every child is different. My chloe didn't talk till she was 3 yrs old.. but doesn't make her slow.. at all. As soon as she started .. she didn't stop ..! Donch you worry.. yer'll be surprised.. once he starts doing things.. in HIS time.. not yours.. not mine.. or not those.. around us. Enjoy him.. Sasha.. ;)

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  38. like the photo u took, and i like all the comments from blogger ... enjoy ur son !! sometime people like to judge my son also, he so small, baru know how to walk, people already say he will be very noti when he grow up !!! *-*
    as long my son is healthy and good, i should be thankful .

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  39. It is only a phase where he will grow out of it..you don't have to worry about what people say..however, I always tell my son that he is naughty as well but only when he does something seriously wrong..so that he knows.. I guess different people..different parenting..Cheer up!

    BTW, Happy Christmas to you and your family!! Anyway,look at Jayden's cute face..how can he be naughty??!!

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  40. Jayden's not naughty! Jayden's mummy's not naughty either!! dun care wut ppl say..just be urself n be happy okies!!! =D

    MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!! =D

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  41. Aiyah...don't worry lah!
    Unker Cocka also very naughty in his younger days. See how good boy is he now?
    No worries, ok!

    Here's wishing you, Big C & Jayden a Merry Christmas & notty New Year!

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  42. wishing you and family

    a MeRRY ChrIstmas and a HAPPY new YEAR!

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  43. Believe in your own child. Nobody understands him better than you.

    Merry Christmas, Sasha!

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  44. Merry X'mas and Happy Holiday to you and your family.

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  45. merry christmas to u and ur family

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  46. It has been awhile since I last saw Jayden. He has grown up to be real fine. Anyway, Merry X’mas and a Happy New Year 2008. May this year and many years to come be filled with peace, love, joy, health and wealth :)

    http://www.crizlai.com/

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  47. People will judge but at least you understand him.

    Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Yea to you and your family!

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  48. All I could said " You know your kids the best - in and out"....so, don't worry, and always enjoy the parenthood moment

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  49. amoi, i tell you oso tak guna ah, all you know oredy.

    J is smart and playful.
    J is super duper cute.
    J is funny.
    J is cheeky.

    and he is more than normal, he's extraordinary. every mom should think so of their child liddat okie?

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  50. Must use reverse psychology. If you say he is naughty all the time, he will be naughty. Ask your hubby, say why u so smart (hehehe..only smart boy know how to be naughty), then he will be smart!

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