Monday, June 18, 2007

Bitchin' Time!!!!

It's been so long since I've written something about my workplace. Well I guess every working place will have someone we will call "Biatch" and without them the work place will be so so BORING! Lucky me, We have one here!!

The nick that i'm giving to this one : Flower. Cos her name is a flower (Donald Duck's Gf Name)

I was warned before I even stepped into this company to be aware of this woman. She sits downstairs so she's kinda left out (she asked for it) hahhahaha I shouldn't write too much in just one day. So once in a while I will update about her cos once in a while she will "stir shit" for us. Oh yah, she's also called "Stir Shit Stick" (kau see kwan)

Not long after I joint this company, it was my colleague's birthday. So we wanted to surprise her with flowers and cake. So we gotto sneak the cake up. UNFORTUNATELY, when they brought the cake up, the flower saw the cake and she knew that she wasn't invited. (You know ah, she don't wanna pay but she wanna makan cake wor. Cheapskate!) So just like how we expected it, she wrote a memo (like so powderful eh? can keluar memo wan-cos she is secretary cum admin cum hr for KL office) supported by HR director, saying that some of us came late to work. But there was a memo not long ago being issued saying that if we come late, as long as we cover back the minutes that we're late it's okay. So ding dong ding dong, email shoot here and there at the end her boss supported her. And she so called won the battle. And after that she EKSYENLY told the mgr here " I'm already 14 years here. NOt so easy to DIE wan". You see la.....do i need to say more?

And she's like Drew Barrymore in 50 first date? Just that she is WORST than that. I have repeated myself so many times saying that "I DON'T SPEAK HOKKIEN". But somehow I think she purposely choose to speak to me in Hokkien. You know what to do when you actually meet someone like this? IGNORE! Cos you dunno how to hear and speak Hokkien ma! Ignore her until she speak in the language that you understand la! haha (shhhhh....wa beh hiau kong hokkien wah, tapi wa eh hiau tia tompok tampok)

The other day she called me:
Sasha: Hello?
Flower: Sasha, you be a good girl okay? Pok Pek Pok Pek (in hokkien: You don't say anything okay?You help me see if Jo is at her place or not.)
Sasha: FLOWER! I Don't understand Hokkien!
Flower: Of sorry ah ..Pok Pek Pok Pek (in hokkien: i forgot that you cannot understand hokkien. You have to remind me samo okay?)
Sasha: HUH????
Flower: you help me see if JO is at her place or not.
Sasha: she's on leave la.
Flower: Yakah? Why she's on leave ah?
Sasha: I dunno wor...
Flower: ok ok KAMSIAH LU AH!
Click. Turn ard and told T.

Sasha:Eh you know ah this flower called and asked me if Jo is at her place or not.
T: Eh why she ask. the leave form is with her ma.
Sasha: huh? means she will know la who is on leave
T: yeah.

Fone ring.
T: hello?
Flower: T ah! You know where is Jo ah?
T: She's on leave ma. She gave you the leave form right?
Flower : pok pek pok pek.
T: BYE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The other day she questioned me, what happened to me cos I was on emergency leave and on mc the next day.
Flower: YOUR SON FEVER AH!
Sasha: not fever. Diarrhea and vomiting
Flower: OH i tot he fever!....Why he fever ah? Why u take MC.
Sasha: Not fever. Diarrhea and vomit. I also kena ma.
Flower: Oh . Pok Pek Pok Pek in Hokkien
Sasha: .... (walk away)

Fone ring.

Flower: SASHA . Pok Pek Pok Pek in Hokkien
Sasha: Flower. I told you . I don't understand Hokkien.
Flower: Oh. You have to remind me again. SASHA LEI LAI SEE AH? (sasha, you tershit ah?)
Sasha: Huh? What LAI SEE? Diarrhea la.
Flower: So U told GM that you diarrhea because you drank the water in office ah?
Sasha: No ak. I told you at i got it from my son mah. My son never drink the water here also.
Flower: OH (saying out loud so GM can hear her) SO MEANS YOU NEVER LAI SEE AFTER YOU DRINK THE WATER HERE LA?????
Sasha: No but other ppl here also diarrhea maybe they...
Flower: FOR YOUR INFORMATION HOR!!! MY HOUSE ALSO USING THE SAME WATER SUPPLIER LOR!! MY FAMILY ALL SO HEALTHY ,NO PROBLEM!!!!!! *click*
Sasha: *Scratch head*
Other coliks: Flower called you ah?
Other coliks: What she said
Sasha: Bli Bla Bli Bla.
Other coliks: Hahaha MUST BE Buy here Free at home la! So support the supplier! Hahahah

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We went to celebrate someone farewell and like usual we didn't invite her. UNFORTUNATELY she saw us coming back. So drama again la..So everyone pakat-ed and said that we went to normal chinese restaurant to makan curry mee only. And then I went down to get my stationary (oh yah , stationary can only be collected on Mondays and Fridays. And guess what, the store room where she stores the stationary is like 10 steps away from her desk and there's only like *count hand jari and kaki jari* of us only).

Flower: Sasha. I want to ask you something. Just now I ask Ja why I'm not invited for any occasion. Is there something between me and you all ah?
Sasha: (YEAH!! BIG PROBLEM WOMAN!) No ak. Got problem meh? Who told you?
Flower: Neh... Ja said you all have problem with me wor...
Sasha: (sense something fishy) HUH??? How come I dunno wan? You should ask Ja ma. If she really said got problem, then you should ask her!
Flower: Yalor . I will ask her later. So there's no problem between you and me ah?
Sasha: What problem? *blink eyes*
Flower: No problem hor?
Sasha: I only worked her for 2 months only ma...won't have any problems wan...(yet)
Flower: Good!

So I went up and said :
Sasha: GUYS! I have announcement! Bli Bla Bli Bla
Coliks: AHH??????
Ja: Swear to god!! I never said such thing! Why she frame me like dat.
Sasha: I know I know! I sense something was not right so I questioned her back and she cannot answer.
Ja: I go down and see what she said.

Ja pretend to walk pass flower.


Flower: Ja! I have something to tell you!
Ja: Yes flower? *blink blink eyes*
Flower: Nolah. I want to tell you something. Just now i told Sasha, you said that we have problem.
Ja: Flower....why you said like that? I was joking when you talked to me this afternoon. Actually i never hear what you're saying, I just said maybe la and walked away.
Flower: Yeah lor I know you're joking. I just want to tell you that I told Sasha..
Ja: Okay? So how?
Flower: Nothing la.

Hahahahaha you see. What dirty tricks she play every single day. But seriously without her I think we will be very bored. Hahaha See how she gave me idea to entertain you guys?

43 comments:

  1. too bad i m not good in hokkien.. if not.. i will teach u to shut her mouth lah ..

    i just know..
    wei .. kanineh.. lu mai ka ka cau cau .. eh sai boh.. ???

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  2. sasha,
    No wonder lah she's being left out. haha!

    Eh, I cannot po pek with you too much today. I got an exam 1 and a hour later. Now waiting for lunch to be cooked!

    p/s: next time you talk japanese to her lah. Simply pok pek she also doesn't know one. haha!

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  3. 1 and a half hour. Sorry. :P

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  4. hahahaha....
    tell her, 'aiyoh, how come ar, you dun look so old but ur memory like old ah mm ar, i say so many times i no un hokkien also u no remember'....

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  5. pokpekpokpekpokpek...

    aiyoyoyo.... so..everyday, she sit by herself downstairs and stir shit.. waiting to throw on you all issit?

    why whereever u work, always got crazeess one???? but..so excites la! makes me miss my working days!

    pokpekpokpekpokpek..

    (aiyo..so hard to type this pokpek la!)

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  6. but she so entertaining lar hehehe, nice to have one when the office is so dull :p

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  7. hahahahahaha.....laughing at mott's comment! wah....this daisy is very free ah? well, life in the office is certainly never a dull moment with a b-i-a-t-c-h like that :D

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  8. OMG! Tak boleh tahanlah! But I agree, without her it'd be boring. Hopefully she doesn't stir major shit for you guyslah...

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  9. aiyo u are making me sked lah listening to all these bitches in work. Keke!

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  10. haha.. tt's true every company sure will have tis kind of bitch around us.

    And bcoz of them we always get to talk about how bitchy they are.. haha..

    Nice one sasha!

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  11. TELL ME FLOWER IS SPINSTER AND IN HER LATE 30s!

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  12. Wah, 'yau mo gau chor'... really 'mo liu'. Sounds like gold finger trying to dig for people's fault....

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  13. Janice: Hahah tell her . SADDAP!

    Kok: GOOOD LUCK!

    Shannon: Pls record yr voice and i will send to her. Haha

    Mott: POK PEK POK PEK Hahahahha

    babyfiona: hehe next time i take picture and show u how she look like k.

    Barbara: Yeah beh tahan

    Nadia: Betul tak boleh tahanhahahha


    Rabbit : Beware of working life

    OuR NeW LiFe'S : Hahha my entertainment

    5xmom.com : Flower is married and she is 51! but she dun look 51. maybe its her secret to be young. POK PEK!

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  14. Etcetera~Mommy : Wat to do ? 51 edi. cannot compete with the young ones so stir shit la

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  15. next time she talk to u in hokkien u speak hainan with her..see her understand or not!!

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  16. haha..what a long post you have today..=D enjoy reading it..

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  17. She dunno how to speak Cantonese or Yinglish wan meh? Wakakaka..pok pek...pok pek!!! If I work there sure get heart attack wan for no reason kena frame.

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  18. Hi Sasha, been reading ur blog but 1st time commenting.

    Pokpek, pokpek also, whatever bitch also, I think you can handle, right? Lei hai tuck geh! :D

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  19. wah lucky my workplace no biatch wor...we all very fren fren like one happy family but also very happy one wor...

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  20. cool blog. like the way you write. keep blogging k.

    p/s check out mine too, bookmark me and leave any smart-ass comment. Search for: Malaysian Mind

    cheerz

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  21. aiyoh, tht Flower memang chiak-pa-eng, (eat too full nothing to do), so old liao summore want to korek pasal.. haihz (shooks head)

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  22. Wah Sasha, you opened my ears today.

    So Hokkien sounds like pokpekpokpek. I never thought of that.

    For the Aussies, Cantonese sounds like "jong, jong jing jing" but then another friend told me that Mandarin sounds like "Neenong, nongning".

    So, for us Chinese, what can we say English sounds like? So boring one hor English, got no sound wan!

    Great post! Pokpekpokpek.....oops sorry, forgot you don't understand Hokkien lei. :))

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  23. wakaka...i understand how you felt...my ofz no bitch...cos i'm the only lady...but got one cina ah pek...pun also same same character...everday pun give shit we all step wan...haih...

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  24. Annie Q: Alamak hainanese also half pail only la.

    SomebodyHasToBe : HI! welcome to BlaBlaBla!

    AceOne118 : She know wor saja wanna piss me kua

    Dancing Queen:Halo! welcome! Hahaha can can i just buat bodoh only can la otherwise kena warning letter . haha

    laundryamah : haha happy family ya?

    dragonfish : Halo! welcome!

    Erin : Yeah she has thousand things to do but dunno why she so damn free wan

    Dr ve Thru : JUDY! u still come to my blog although u dun blog anymore!*HUGZ* No english sound is OK OK!haha

    Leng : Ah no biatch but have bustard ah? kakakak

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  25. 14 years tai sai meh ... hoh?

    anyway... the general consensus is that... everyone hates their workplace... but we are all not doing anything about it.

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  26. Anonymous9:15 AM

    at time without those B we will be very boring, but with the B around in the office we have to keep all our happy occasions from her. sigh . . .

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  27. wow, your bitch really damn long ahh & everyone can finished reading it......isn't that good...everyone listening??

    luckily my ofis dun have such bitch, else she would not have survive......hehehe!!

    51 years old......go retire fast fast & don't block the globe turn la, hoh!!!

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  28. wooo - go away 1 week, come back kau kau -- har har ! This daisy must be real lonesome dat's why has to stir up this sh*t for you and your colleagues?

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  29. zewt: Not tai sai....chui lowe only
    hahaha

    Anonymous : Yeah hahahaa sad case

    Jacss : Yeah when i bitch, i really can talk n talkwan

    milkmaid : Hahahaha everyday!

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  30. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  31. I wonder is she married or not leh..... If she married I wonder how her husband can tahan her one. If she not married then I guess she is way better off that way la, better not harm the next-gen ma :P

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  32. I can speak hokkien!!! next time you can msn me what you want to 'tembak' her...hahaha...

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  33. Mom, u r Back!!! Without office biatch, our office life will be dull...so enjoy messing with her

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  34. This kind of staff.... *shake head*

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  35. me like Julian "shake head" too... isk isk isk...
    kesian the pok pek pok pek popoh...
    aikk at 51, not yet popoh kah?

    sorry ah flower ;)
    but nice to have this kind fo staff... gerenti not boring one. :P

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  36. whoa, i mia so long come back, got so many interesting things happening already. so bad la this kinda ppl, make me scared of my future working time d, haha!

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  37. Hahaha, manyak seronok baca u punya Pok Pek Pok Pek. Must nominate ur blog as the most happening and entertaining lar.

    Oh? Pok Pek Pok Pek can keep oneself young ke? I must Pok Pek Pok Pek more lor. Kekeke.

    Dat 'flower' 'hor yi moong sat tiu ah?'

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  38. Just wonder how she stayed for 14 years. I love this office drama too.

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  39. Wow..!! she eat full nothing to do ka..??

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  40. So tai sei ah... my goodeness, talking to ppl lidat shorten life by few yrs man.

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  41. I think in every office there is someone like that

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  42. Good entertainment woh.. got ppl like that working in your office!

    Aisay.. I wish some of my colleagues are so Sap Sum Dim! Make good lunch / tea / dinner conversation.. even at home!

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  43. so, can call her 'chee hei thai hou' (the china empress) or 'san jue pai' or not?? like JP (jaga pintu) only?!
    true wat everyone says, wherever you work, there will be a play shit stick. SURE WAN!

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