Thursday, August 17, 2006

For My Jayden Boy

Jayden Boy,
Mama want to say sorry for "piak piak" you last night when you cry for milk. But Mama's heart ache also cos you cried and ask for milk, but Mama make for you, you refuse to drink. What's wrong? Isit time for solid food already? But you're only going to 5 months old soon. But you scared Mama when Mama "piak piak" you, you cried for a while, but the stopped crying and stared at Mama. What are you thinking baby? Mama still loves you very very much..but Mama is really very tired, frustrated and depressed.

Someone called Mama and offered Mama a job. But Mama already turned them down. Cos its in KL and maybe gotto work late. Mama need to come home early to pick you up from aunty's place and take care of you at night. Starting a new job means Mama gotto start all over again. And since its a senior position, Mama gotto work extra hard. And since its a Marketing job, it means "dunno when is going home time".

Since you don't like Papa as much as Mama, Mama gotto take care of you most of the time. Why baby? Why don't you like Papa? Is it because Papa seldom talk to you when you're in Mama's tummy? Or is it because Mama cried alot and was angry at Papa when you're in Mama's tummy so now you don't really like Papa? Mama hopes you can bond with Papa more. But you like to bully Papa...and Papa don't know how to handle baby yet..so Baby must give Papa a chance to bond with baby. Okay?

Mama's really tired. Mama seldom sleep now cos Baby wakes up so many times at night and many times Papa cannot handle you alone. Luckily Mama already hired part time maid..if not Mama already register to go in Tanjung Rambutan. But still there's so much to do..so much to worry about.

Baby's not gaining weight already. In fact lost a lil weight due to bronchiolitis last time. Luckily you're better now. But now you're not drinking. Is it because you're teething? Or you no longer like the bottle changed for you. If only baby can tell me what's wrong...

Mama don't mind waking up every 2 hours every night...but Mama hopes to see you grow up healthy like Laura che che and Adam Kor kor or cute like Zara , Kieran & Kylie , Oscar, Justin and many more.

Mama think Mama needs a break soon. Or else Mama will go crazy...But how since Mama is so occupied with baby and Papa cannot handle you? *sigh* How baby? How? *sigh*

And Papa, Mama loves you too although Mama always yell at you for making milk too slow, for not waking up although Jayden boy cries like mad and always falling asleep while taking care of Jayden and many more reasons. I know i shouldn't take it out on you two although I'm so tired. Very sorry...

I'm really looking forward to our holiday in September. Can't wait for it...althought Mama still cannot wear back Mama's bikini...Mama will wear a big sarong to cover and still splash water with you two. Mama loves you guys!
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Just added after reading King's Wife's blog about shopping.*sigh*
Mama also very unhappy cos Mama cannot go shopping more often. Now Mama gotto carry so many things and also bring 2 big babies around with me. Baby will cry and ask Mama to carry and Papa will whine and ask Mama to hurry up. Now its worst, its Sale time and Mama only get to go 1 day to shop only. Other days gotto take leave to go jalan jalan or massage. Speaking about massage...i really need that.

And Mama still cannot fit into Mama's Levi's jeans. Dunno when only can go back to normal weight...

Despite all the complaints... Mama never regret having you. Having you in Mama's tummy is a wonderful thing and Mama miss the wiggly wiggly feeling you've given me and when you arrived, it's the best thing that ever happened to me. So Jayden boy please be a good boy and let Mama have a good rest or else Mama will go Ku Ku. I love you boy.

15 comments:

  1. Hi Sasha, it's always overwhelming when it's the first child. Don't be too upset with yourself. Anybody can give you a break, like your mom or in law? The bf can be tiring, especially when it's interval of 2 hours. I'd recommend MG's site : Mothering Times. You can go to her site via my link on my blog. There's a lot of info available for a 1st time mom :) Good luck and *hugs* to you.

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  2. Hi immomsdaughter, Thanks. But unfortunately mom in law is no longer around. I'm not BF anymore. He's so choosy, he used to choose only the right one and refuse to drink on the left. Then he don't want to BF anymore.

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  3. Damn, how i wish that my mom has a blog like you... i can save her naggings and pep-talks up for a later reading then...

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  4. ayo u poor thing la...jayden could be suffering from colic la. try holding him face down on your arm and pat him on his back. waking up every two hours for a 4 month old is not normal leh,,so check his tummy and lightly tap and check if he has wind or not..if yes then must burp him lor..hang in there ok??

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  5. ayo the comment earlier disappeared! nevermind write again. you poor thing, i think Jayden could be colicky ler..try holding him face down on your arm, like hanging la but it's comfortable for the baby. I used to do this for Kieran when he was 3 months old when he cried and cried like the unconsolable crying..test whether he's got wind by tapping your finger on his tummy should sound like you are hitting an empty container..hope this helps. hang in there!

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  6. it's been a long time since i looked after babies but i do remember clearly i was as overwhelmed as you are now. baby jayden is growing and learning fast and no two days are alike. his sleeping patterns and feeding habits may cause you much concern now but i'm sure he'll settle into a more comfortable routine in no time at all.

    cheers!

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  7. hey don't be so stressed ok...maybe he don't need a drink, but just a cuddle? No worries, just pray hard, everything will turn up fine and he'll be good in no time :).

    I also can't fit into my jeans lorr...nvm buy bigger size ;)

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  8. Hey..Sasha,
    Hang in there..! it's very overwhelming at first.. been there .. done it.
    But there is light at the end of the tunnel.. gal..! do try and get some help if you can.. you can't do it alone.
    Take care..!

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  9. aiks..i left msg here yest, but it's gone!!!

    probably he's not hungry but wanted a hug from mama...don't be so stressed up ok.

    take care

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  10. Hi Sasha, dont worry, u will overcome all those difficulty.Like me the first time having the twins, and also is a new mummy,i cry a lot during my confinement month due to depression.After my confinement lady left, so me have to take care both babies with a maid.When they are still small they wake up every two hours to hv milk,(i'm not BF)normally i will handle both my own during nite,i will ask my maid to rest due to day time she need to take care babies for me.Unless two of them wake up at the same time than i will call her to help me.At that time, babies cry i also cry i dont know what they want.I hardly go out,normally i will sleep at 7.30pm than ask my maid to take care for me till 12am than i will wake up to continue my mid night job (take care babies), every nite i only slept three hours.Think back those time i really scared.Lucky my boys now they had grown up, but still will wake up once at night to have milk.Sorry,first time visiting ur blog already so "loso", write so much.Just want to share with u.

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  11. We all have days like these..

    But hopefully, it's not happening every day.

    Your reward will come later, when you see him blossom into a toddler, a kid talking, an independant person.

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  12. Mike:when u're a baby, internet don't exist la.Maybe you can ask Emily to write for Regine?

    Laundryamah & Jazzmint:
    Have to put the security thing la. Now got sick ppl simply leave msg ma.Must monitor. Sorry ye..

    LaundryAmah: He not colicky la. His stomach flat flat one. But now i know what he want..he wants to eat cereal!

    Nyonya & MamaBok: I hope so too!

    Jazzmint:Yalor want cuddle.So i have to carry him all the time lor. *sob* we all so poor thing. Have to buy new jeans..*sob*

    AnnieQ: Welcome to Faat Lowe Sow in my blablabla. You're very "Keng" Can handle twins. Now when Jayden cry, not only i'll cry, Mr chan also cry. Whole family cry together lor.. Together we cry, united as 1 family!

    Thank u guys so much for your encouragement and advice.I'll try my best to be a super mommy like you guys!

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  13. Zara's Mama: I hope so too :)

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  14. Hi Sasha, I am Iris. This is the first time I leave a message on your blog. I am a mother of two wonderful girls. My baby Irina is only 4 month old now. But I am lucky cause she started to sleep through the night since she was 2 month plus. I can understand what you are going through now, cause my first girl was a difficult baby, too. She was fine except during feeding time. She drinks very little, and vomitted a lot. I experienced post-natal depression after my 1st delivery. Was very depressed then. Also pick on my Honey a lot. Umm... Poor guy. Well, I am able to handle my second baby much better. BUT, poor us... I can't fit in my jeans, too. Just thought of buying a new pair of jeans yesterday!! Hang on there, he will out grown this. A little tip, I think you should try to train your little Jayden to sleep through the night by now. You can try to offer him water instead of milk for the night feed.

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  15. Hi Iris, Welcome to my blog. Thanks for the tips. I was thinking to train him to sleep through the night when he starts on solid fully. I tried before giving him water, but poor Jayden cried like mad. Maybe a bit later.
    Hmmm...gotto shopping for jeans already..

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